Active Submission - Make Yourself Available to Your Dominant

By taking on an active role in our submission, we not only have more opportunities to be submissive, but we build a dynamic that provides an open exchange of power. Even though as submissives, we permit them to have authority over us, that isn't enough. We're missing a key point here. D/s is an exchange.

Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

What a Pain: Does Pain Tolerance Change Over Time?

Tolerance will grow in time, and will change. Most of the fun in exploring bdsm is in trying new things together, nobody can have everything thrown at them on day one.

Never Say Never: Overcoming Hard Limits

When absolute trust is present, and the dominant is interested and experienced in helping to overcome fears and phobias, working through hard limits can be very empowering.

When Your Owner's Home Grows: The Impact of Having Additional Live-in Dominants and submissives

Anytime you have a Home with one Master and no matter how well ordered, three s-types one of them new to the Home there is going to be administrative issues if nothing else. We have faced everything from handling of the children to dealing with punishments and chore allocation. Never-mind interpersonal issues focusing around relationships and commitments as well as insecurity and a little passive aggressiveness.

How Master Took Control of the Finances

I belong to him completely today but when I look back, having him control all the money was the greatest submission for me to him.