I am relatively new to this world. I have recently ended a 2 year D/s relationship and I’m having an extremely difficult time emotionally.I can't balance the constant rush of emotions, most of which I can't identify. All I know is that I feel confused, hurt, and lost without answering to somebody. It's difficult to function on a daily basis and even the smallest of tasks leaves me feeling incapable. Do you have any advice to help or can recommend a source that can help?
Thank you. I’m terrified.
Emotional recovery after a breakup is really hard on anyone. It’s especially hard on the one that didn’t call for the end.
If you know anything about the process of grieving, it applies here too. You will go through a lot of emotions of doubt and sadness, depression, loss and more. Psychology Today did a lovely post, The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship, that covers how you are likely feeling right now.
For a D/s relationship, it will be hard to pick up the things you surrendered to them and the rules and processes you had to function during your day. What I can recommend is to continue the ones that you can, until you are ready to accept the responsibility of the task again. What I mean by this is if your partner always picked your clothing out, then pretend they are still doing so. If you had to get permission to use the bathroom, then ask it out loud and assume a confirmation. Once you are ready to take over self-control of the things you surrendered you will stop needing to pretend.
It might also help, if you are in the local community and have someone you trust, to find a mentor and friend you can call upon to help you recover. They can work with you to get your life back on track and to support you through the grieving process.
Most importantly, do not rush into another relationship until you have fully moved on and are ready to do so. Grief takes time. Give yourself the time to walk through it.