Service. It's something that a lot of submissive say they are into giving. But what does that mean? I guess a lot of us, myself included, just assume that once you "get it" that you already understand what service entails, but the new submissives among us, and those that don't perform service on a regular basis probably don't quite understand what is so special about service that we'd want to specifically say we do it. Let's get to the bottom of it, shall we?
While it's quite clear that the definition means that we are helping or doing work for someone, performing a kindness or favor, when we apply that term to D/s it tends to take on a more indepth role. Service, to me, definitely means I'm doing something for my Dominant partner, something that they find important to have fulfilled and have given me that honor to perform.
If these tasks were not on a regular basis, or not assumed that I would always perform them, I don't think I'd call it service. It would be more an obedience thing. What makes it service is that it becomes part of my submissive makeup, my role in the relationship and an expected part of my everyday. And I do it because I enjoy it. I develop a connection to the jobs and tasks he has added to my submission and they are a large part of the good feelings I get as a service submissive.
What do I personally do that I consider service?
- I am his personal assistant. I make all of his appointments, keep his calendar, inform him of coming events, fetch and carry while he works during they day and acts as the intermediary for people to contact him.
- I am his domestic servant. I perform all of the household tasks to maintaining the home. He does not have to do anything to keep the house clean; that is my service to him. I prepare his meals and make sure the appliances and cars have their scheduled maintenance. Occasionally he'll take the trash out for me.
- I am his personal groomer. I maintain his hair and body for him. While he showers on his own, I am to shave him, cut his hair, lotion his body and make sure he is presentable. It is one of the more intimate services I provide.
- I'm the accountant for our own income as well as the businesses we have. The money that comes into the home must be managed correctly so that we can live comfortable and plan for the future. He trusts that I'm not misusing the funds and that the bills are getting paid on time.
As I'm sure many of you are thinking, these can't be service because I do them and I don't feel they are service. Then that's true for you. For me, they are an important connection to the D/s we have. It's almost formal and ritualized and often these are the things that have the most protocol added to them. That and the manner they are carried out makes them service to me.
Some D/s relationships do not have a sexual or intimate component to them at all, they are pure service. The enjoyment that submissives in service relationships gain is purely from caring for and serving another Dominant in some capacity. Just about any job that you can do for pay you can do for service to someone else.
Examples of Types of Service a Submissive Could Perform
- Personal Assistant
- Domestic / Maid
- Massage Therapist
- Groom / Personal Care Attendant
- Landscaping / Lawn care
- Co-Top during scenes with others
- Computer Technician
Eventually you are going to encounter something from someone else that the consider service. This is hardly an exhaustive list. So, what I'd like to do is open it up to you. Let me know of other types of service in the comments! Share your own thoughts on the topics too. I'd love to hear what service is in your eyes and why it's special. Or not.