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Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes

Let's face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. No matter the type of play, being an informed bottom can help create the tools needed to foster a fantastic scene for both you and your play partner.

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Recommended Reading for New Submissives

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site.

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Submissive Frenzy

During submissive frenzy, you may feel a desperate need to have your desires fulfilled. Many of the activities in BDSM can be considered addictive and frenzy is much like a withdrawal stage. This series will help you understand your urgent feelings and how to listen to your gut when you need it most.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive?

If you are a submissive, or learning about submission and don't like pain or don't think you like pain then that doesn't mean you aren't submissive.

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Formal Training – Do You Need It?

Do you need formal training? Sometimes that may be the only way it will work, but in most cases there is no need for structured time to learn a new behavior - it just comes with practice and education. Embrace that your life is continuously about study and practice.

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Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast!

I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it's live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it's important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps even reach subspace!

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How to Be Responsive During Play Without Being Demanding

You walk a tightrope of topping from the bottom and being a good receptive bottom when you learn how to be responsive during play.

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Some Issues with Consensuality

As in most things, the meaning of consent is far from simple.

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That Don't Impress Me Much: Why You Should Not Withhold Your Safeword

If you don't use your safeword, you could be in for more than just an overly sore backside. A safeword is your lifeline and your partner trusts you to use it if you need to. TR shares a personal story where playing with no safewords went wrong.

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