The other day in a submissives only group that I’m in on Facebook, the topic of domestic service came up. The member was new to the lifestyle and had questions about resources specifically for domestic service and asked if there was anyone out there who could help point her in the right direction. Being the Queen of Bookmarks, I shared with her everything I had and it gave me an idea to compile a list of domestic service resources from here on Submissive Guide, Fetlife, the internet, and books.

Submissive Guide

Of course, Submissive Guide has some amazing resources for service. Here is a small selection of articles about service and a link to the archives for more articles about service.

    The Internet

    How Not to Suck at Service Submission - This a great website! I don’t even remember for sure how I stumbled across it, but it is a website that I am happy I came across. There are a lot of very informative articles and infographics that pertain to food and cooking. This is specifically geared towards service-oriented slaves and submissives. Service Submissive, who runs the page, describes the site as “Resources for service submissives, service slaves, domestic servants, and other types of service providers seeking to learn more about BDSM service topics.”. It’s definitely worth checking out!

    Happy Housewives’ Club - This website is run by Darla Shine, once a high-profile television producer, traded in her briefcase for a diaper bag and her blog tells the tales of her adventures in making the transition along with recipes, budgeting tips, and cleaning tips.

    Useful Subreddits for a Service Submissive(from -This link contains several different links to Subreddit threads that cover all sorts of tips and ideas for domestic service from baking and cooking to interior design and landscaping. A lot of very useful topics!

    Pinterest - For those of you not familiar with Pinterest, it’s a virtual bulletin board where you can save pretty much anything and everything. Recipes, craft ideas, home improvement and decorating ideas, free printable downloads including cleaning lists, menu plans, place cards, and invitations. lunaKM shared some Pinterest links during her 30 Days of Better Domestic Service series for free downloadables and I use it as well for keeping track of all the recipes I want to try.

    Recipe Websites

    There are tons of food blogs and recipe sites out there. Way too many to list. These that I have listed are websites that I visit frequently and also subscribe to them via email and I have found recipes on all of them that I absolutely love and have made more than once.

    All Recipes - This one I stumbled across when I first moved to Germany and was looking for ideas for things to cook. Before I moved, I didn’t know how to work the magic in the kitchen that I do now. There are tons of recipes for almost everything and multiple recipes for any given food item. This is great because I look through the ingredients and check the reviews of the recipe for deciding which one I’m going to use.

    Food Network - Even though I didn’t do much cooking before moving, I was totally obsessed with the cooks and their shows on Food Network. This website has recipes from all of the cooks that appear on the Food Network channel, including my personal favorite, Ree Drummond.

    These sites are ones I stumbled across either from Facebook or Pinterest and have quickly become go-to sites for me.

      Fetlife Groups

      These are a ton of groups on Fetlife that are about service, but I don’t have the time to go through them all. From the pages I did go through, these are the most popular and active groups that I found.

      Service - Is service your kink? This is a place to discuss the why and the how. Let’s learn from each other.

      Domestic Servitude - It’s not about French maid outfits with fishnet stockings bending over with feather dusters, (although that can be very fun too) but this domestic service group is more about the practical application: for example, how to take that stubborn spot out of your Master’s favorite shirt, or that extra special recipe to die for, or sharing your favorite cleaning product that you discovered for your Mistress’ windows!

      Ask The Chef - This is a group for kinksters who are also chefs, hardcore foodies, soft-core foodies, or who find themselves serving Doms who are. The forum is dedicated to all aspects of the culinary arts, from food history, health & politics to stunning plate presentations, from the very basics to the most elaborate of pastry, chocolate and sugarcraft to soups, sauces, and even ice sculpture.

      We boast many professional chefs with more combined years experience than we can count who will assist you & answer any question with useful insight, and hopefully, humor and wit. Perhaps you’ll join us and contribute your own wisdom to our kitchens?

      The Evil Necessity of Cooking on a Budget - Cooking is something that gives the leaders here great satisfaction but with the current state of the economy it can be hard to prepare things that are good, while still being inexpensive.

      This group was started as a place to catalog the recipes and meals that rock our socks off and don’t break the bank. We invite you to add your own ideas as well.

      Service Oriented Submission - Insofar as the goal of an individual may be to be of service, such is the goal of this group to assist him/her to provide or enhance such services. We strive to seek out resources and opportunities to broaden the scope of our abilities in order to serve our partner(s) and/or our community. Services may include but are not limited to:

      Housework, Home Maintenance, Yard work, Laundry, Cooking, Shopping and Errands, Automotive, Travel, Secretarial, computer/electronics, Financial, Health Care, Child Care, Animal Care, Arts and Crafts, Companionship, Personal Grooming and Body Service, Etiquette and Protocol, as well as Sexual Skills.

      Cooking and Baking - We’ve all got to eat- from Victorian high tea and service, to service subs baking for their Masters, to Ageplay people baking cookies with their Girls/Boys, people who like to use food for messy play, Puppy Play people baking human-edible dog biscuits, and all of us who just like to eat, cook, bake, whatever.

      24/7, live in, service-oriented slaves/subs - A group devoted to discussion/guidance/advice for 24/7 live in service-oriented submissives and slaves, the Masters/Dominants who own them, and those actively desiring and seeking such a dynamic.

      Simply Service - To us, service is our way of life. Not adding a sense of a sexual or kink based feeling into this service. That’s why this group is Simply Service.

      Cigar Service - A group for those that enjoy giving or receiving cigar service as a fetish.


      The Best Resources for a Service Library by lunaKM - This is a list of books about different types of service that includes topics such as household management and entertaining put together by lunaKM.

      Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny - In any consenting and negotiated personal service relationship, there are hundreds of ways in which the servant can make the master’s life easier, and the master can manage the servant most effectively. Why is it that we usually only hear about a few of these ways? From housework to driving to child care to personal care, nearly anyone who is in service (or who would like to be) has dozens of skills they already know that they can offer as a service, and there are countless more practical everyday skills they can learn. Real Service is a handbook for service-oriented submissives and the people they serve, providing techniques to help a service relationship function smoothly, and suggestions for service that can be offered.

      Service Notebook by Joshua Tenpenny - The Service Notebook is a place to keep detailed notes about the preferences and priorities of someone who you provide personal service to, in order to improve the quality of your service.

      Butler’s Book by Jen Ran - This is a free downloadable butler’s book that you can use to help keep track of your dominant’s likes and dislikes as well as household chores, and whatever notes you need to be the best service submissive you can be.

      The Flavor Bible by Karen Page and Andrew Dornenburg - Great cooking goes beyond following a recipe–it’s knowing how to season ingredients to coax the greatest possible flavor from them. Drawing on dozens of leading chefs’ combined experience in top restaurants across the country, Karen Page and Andrew Dornenburg present the definitive guide to creating “deliciousness” in any dish. Thousands of ingredient entries, organized alphabetically and cross-referenced, provide a treasure trove of spectacular flavor combinations. Readers will learn to work more intuitively and effectively with ingredients; experiment with temperature and texture; excite the nose and palate with herbs, spices, and other seasonings; and balance the sensual, emotional, and spiritual elements of an extraordinary meal.Seasoned with tips, anecdotes, and signature dishes from America’s most imaginative chefs, THE FLAVOR BIBLE is an essential reference for every kitchen.

      The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science by J. Kenji Lopez - Alt In The Food Lab, Kenji focuses on the science behind beloved American dishes, delving into the interactions between heat, energy, and molecules that create great food. Kenji shows that often, conventional methods don’t work that well, and home cooks can achieve far better results using new—but simple—techniques. In hundreds of easy-to-make recipes with over 1,000 full-color images, you will find out how to make foolproof Hollandaise sauce in just two minutes, how to transform one simple tomato sauce into a half dozen dishes, how to make the crispiest, creamiest potato casserole ever conceived, and much more.

      Laundry: The Home Comforts Book of Caring for Clothing and Linens by Cheryl Mendelson - For Cheryl Mendelson, laundering is the best part of housekeeping. It’s full of physical pleasures—the look of favorite clothes restored to freshness and beauty, the tactile satisfaction of crisp linens in beautifully folded stacks. Good laundering preserves things you love and protects your pocketbook. It doesn’t take much time or effort. What it takes is knowledge, and Laundry is the comprehensive, entertaining, and inspiring book on the art of laundering. A much-needed antidote to the standard-issue how-to manual, Laundry celebrates the satisfaction of ironing, folding, and caring for clothes and linens. Both pragmatic and eloquent, Mendelson provides beginning and veteran homemakers with a seamless combination of reliable instruction, time-tested advice, and fascinating personal narrative.

      The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo - Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you’ll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results.

      With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy” (and which don’t), this international bestseller featuring Tokyo’s newest lifestyle phenomenon will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home—and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

      The Wives’ Book: For the Wife Who’s the Best at Everything by Alison Maloney - Often described as “the better half” of the husband-and-wife team, the role of wife is sacred and wide-ranging. The Wives’ Book celebrates all the quirks, traditions, and achievements of wifehood, including fascinating stories of wives throughout history, imaginative ways of celebrating wedding anniversaries, humorous and thought-provoking quotes from literature, heartwarming tales from real-life wives, and practical advice for keeping your household shipshape and running like a dream.

      I hope this list will help you all on your road to great domestic servitude.