This week's video post is an issue that needs more awareness.
I had someone ask me for some advice through my email the other day and it went something like this:
I just started exploring my kinky side and I've only shared it with a few other people. One person that found out started talking really crudely to me and cornering me at parties to whisper horrible naughty things in my ear. One night he forced his way into my apartment, violated me and beat me with his belt until I blacked out. I don't know how to handle this because I've admitted I'm kinky, does this mean people will treat me like this?
My huge response to her request was to find out if she was alright and to seek help, right away. What this person did were rape and assault. It wasn't consensual. It wasn't agreed upon. It was forced. The fact that the woman was exploring her kinky side has nothing to do with what happened.
It's sad to know that a few men out there think it is okay to harm women in this way. Submission does not mean you are open for violation and harm. You are not an automatic victim.
I can only hope that the woman sought out help and reported the man for assault. I don't know, the response I received was more along the lines of 'thanks for the advice.' I really did want to help her and even tried to find out where she lived so that I could report the man myself.
If you are in a situation where you don't feel safe or that you find yourself fearing for what may happen, please understand that you don't have to live that way. You can get out. There are assistance programs for you.
The one I'd like to talk about right now is the National Leather Association International - Domestic Violence Project. They have been in place since 1998 helping people get out of dangerous relationships and situations. They provide services to help communities and individuals raise awareness of the differences between consensual BDSM and abuse. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. During this month, Submissive Guide will be raising money to help the NLA-I DVP in its cause to raise awareness. Stay tuned for how you can help Submissive Guide support awareness.
If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: