I read a forum thread the other day that rubbed me the wrong way. So I thought I’d talk about it and share my opinion on the subject. I would love to hear how you would answer this same question.
The topic was asking what a submissive’s/slave’s responsibilities were in a relationship. Out of the 35 replies, the topic had when I viewed it, all but 2 said: “to obey”. Now here’s the rub. If all we have for responsibility is to be obedient then we are getting the easy job. And that’s just not the way I see submission. There is no power exchange if you just have to obey commands.
I don’t know about you, but my Dominant wouldn’t keep me long if I didn’t take on a bit of the responsibility in the relationship. Being obedient isn’t an all-encompassing order either. There is more to it than that.
I get where people are coming from when they say ‘to obey’ is their responsibility. It’s a knee-jerk response that placates them and doesn’t make them think about who they are and how they navigate their relationship. I’ve said before that KnyghtMare would not accept this type of answer if he asked me the same question. He’d want me to really think about my responsibility to him and the relationship that goes beyond such an easy answer.
I can’t tell you what your personal responsibilities are, that’s for you to decide. But I hope I can get your thinking about your response to this question in a more thought out way and with more meaning.
I guess when I hear that all a submissive has to do is obey, that I see a person in wait. Always waiting for the next direction, the next request, the next order. Never doing anything on their own accord or with their own personal development, the ease of life for the Dominant or the betterment of the relationship in mind. What I see is a doormat. I don’t like the idea of doormat submissives and while I know that there are people who love that dynamic, I just can’t encourage that direction for anyone.
If you can’t take the initiative to see where things need to be done and do them without being told then ‘to obey’ may be the only method of submission for you. Perhaps if you can not function at all without the Dominant's direct intervention and dictation of your life, then perhaps obedience is the only path you can follow.
I see my responsibilities as taking action. I work to make my Dominant’s life easier, happier and more fulfilling. I take the time to improve my skills, work on my behavior and take better care of myself so that I can continue to be there for him. I don’t just obey - I try to prepare for any instance where my service or submission might be needed. It is my goal in the relationship for both of us to be happy and in love for as long as possible. Being obedient to him is only part of the task at hand.
I hope that you can see where you may want to amend your response to the question of your responsibilities and I’d love to know what you changed, if anything, about your response. Leave me a comment!