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Content related to "Improving Your Submission - Accepting Punishment"

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Review

Review: Jealousy Survival Guide by Kitty Chambliss

The Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship by Kitty Chambliss is the best little book on jealousy in open relationships out there right now. I’m finding positive coping mechanisms, learning how to manage my feelings and also why they exist in the first place. If you’ve had any moments of jealousy because of an open relationship and your feelings about your partner’s partners, this is definitely a book you should check out.

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape in BDSM Scenarios

"Consensual rape." Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary to that initial concept of rape. A consensual act is one in which all parties are in agreement as to the parameters, activities, and boundaries of said act. How then, does the term "consensual rape" have any validity at all?

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When Does Punishment Go Too Far?

In all BDSM exchanges, there is a level of consent and negotiation that happened prior to the activity or relationship. This also includes punishment.

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What a Pain: Does Pain Tolerance Change Over Time?

Tolerance will grow in time, and will change. Most of the fun in exploring bdsm is in trying new things together, nobody can have everything thrown at them on day one.

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The Punishment Place: Dealing with Punishment as a Slave

Accepting that my behavior is a direct reflection on Him, that my thoughts and actions need first to be scrutinized, on my own, for what I know He expects of me. I will fail again, I'm sure. And I will be back in that place.

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Dealing with Guilt as a Submissive

When it comes to dealing with guilt, you have to talk about it. You can’t just shove it somewhere deep inside and expect that to take care of everything. Neither can you throw yourself into an activity and consider it done. You have to talk it out with the person, no matter how difficult that may be.

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Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic?

If you’re currently thinking about becoming financially dependent on your Dom, kallista shares her thoughts on the subject and how it can impact more than your relationship. Learn the risks.

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Sample Master/slave Contract with Ethical Non-Monogamy Section

A sample D/s contract that also includes a non-monogamy section. Feel free to copy, edit and use this one for creating your own relationship contact.

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