There are a lot of great resources out there to read online about the lifestyle, but some people tend to learn better visually and there’s not a lot options out there. Mistress Lilith Starr and her slave Uruk Black have fixed that. They have put together an amazing video, Kink for Beginners.
Lilith and Uruk have been together for four years and he became her collared slave three and a half years ago and are also married. They have been through a lot together and to me, it’s amazing to see how they made it through all that life had to throw at them and what a devoted couple they are to one another. Their love and devotion to one another shine throughout the entire video.
They cover a lot of information during their video. One of my favorite things about the video is the comparison made to kink being like a roller coaster. The foundation of a kink relationship is built on trust, consent, mutual respect, and communication, just like a roller coaster is built on a sturdy foundation of steel. That sturdy foundation of steel and the safety bars in the cars help riders have a fun, exciting, and safe ride, just like having a solid foundation of trust, consent, mutual respect, and communication. The moment even one of those things is taken away from the foundation, the activities taking place are no longer part of the lifestyle, that’s when things become abuse. The differences between what is consensual BDSM and abuse are pointed out along with what to watch for.
They also suggest keeping a kink journal as a way to share and discuss your fantasies and desires with partner, to set aside time to explore the world of kink, and that each partner takes a turn playing the top and bottom roles to get a bit of experience of what it’s like on both sides of the flogger. Two more points that they also stress, and I really feel that these are both things that most people don’t think about is that the top can safeword out of a scene as well and to find humor in the situation if something doesn’t go as planned during a scene.
Some things that they touch base on are the anatomy of a scene, different types of play and characteristics such as service, power exchange, roleplaying and even a section on DIY toys and how to make some of those household items a little more fun. Safety issues are covered as well when it comes to bondage, using clamps and different types of impact play.
This video is by no means done in a professional manner and that is one of the reasons why I love it so much. You are able to see kink done by real life people and the viewer can see the real connection and love between a full-time mistress/slave relationship.
You can buy Kink for Beginners as a digital download.