I’m a female sub, and new to the scene, officially. Unofficially, I have been experimenting with (less than enthusiastic) partners, but now I’m a free agent, and seeking a community! So what’s stopping me you might ask? Well, I have genital herpes, and it deters most people. Do you have any tips for a young woman looking for a group of like-minded kinksters? Thanks! -tittywinks

Hi tittywinks,

I’m not really sure how you having herpes stops you from making friends unless of course you really mean you want sexual partners. When you go to munches or join a community, I have never seen anyone require you to proclaim your STI status and it should remain private information that you only share with those you hope to be intimate with (play or sex).

While there are communities that fly the herpes flag, you are likely to find partners that are willing to be with you intimately as long as precautions are used in any community.

If you want to stick with people who also have herpes or will be with people who do, I’d try FetLife.com and search their groups for Herpes friendly ones.

If you are looking to date you could always try the Herpes-specific dating sites - if you really want to define yourself by your disease.