Receiving your collar is a special occasion for many submissives and slaves. For some, this time means a celebration of your relationship and the commitment that is about to happen. A formal collaring ceremony is what came about because of this need.

There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration, there are things to consider.

I recommend you use a wedding as an example ceremony. After all, you are committing yourself to someone in a very special and often permanent way. Why not use an existing ceremony and customize it for your needs.

With that said, let’s look at how you can plan a collaring using a wedding as a template.


Who do you want to invite? How many do you want to witness the event? Collaring ceremonies are typically smaller because of how many people that may be in the know of your lifestyle choice. That’s okay. An intimate feel may be just what you are looking for.


Places to hold a collaring vary on preference. I’ve seen them held in public dungeons, private homes and outdoors. It’s really up to you and that atmosphere you want to have.


I strongly recommend you have invitations. You can certainly use wedding invites as a base for what to say.

Because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love we,

Dominant and Submissive

invite you to share the beginning of our new life together when a collar is given.

There are many different ways you can word the invitation and I recommend you use a web search to find the wording that will work best for your personal situation.


Much like a wedding, you will want to figure out what everyone involved will wear. I have heard of many variations for the submissive from something akin to a simple wedding dress or suit, to a gauze nightgown, to a g-string, to nothing at all. It all works based on the atmosphere you want to convey.

Dominants are likely to be fully dressed no matter what, but the options are still open. Full leathers, tuxedos, kilts, all in black, really whatever again, conveys the right message about the couple.


An officiant is not required in a collaring ceremony since there is no legal requirements but some relationships want someone to help them lead into an exchange of vows or ritual that will seal the ceremony. Anyone you respect that would be willing to stand up and guide the two of you will work.


Unlike a wedding, it is very unlikely that there is a need for attendants. You may want someone to help you dress, but in most cases, you stand alone in front of your Dominant for a collaring.


You can say whatever you’d like at a collaring ceremony. There are some lovely ideas all over the internet. I think a common theme is that the Dominant explains to the assembled why they have chosen the submissive today and then pledges to the submissive to care for them. The submissive replies in kind with what they hope to achieve under the collar and how they feel about the relationship between the Dominant and submissive.


As with everything I am describing, it is a personal matter what you choose to use and not use, or how you plan to go about a formal ceremony of your own. Some collaring ceremonies end with a ritual play time or of a cutting/branding/piercing. It is meant to be short and express the intimate moment between the parties.


They sky is the limit here. You can host a play party, have a sit-down dinner or a full blown reception style celebration with dancing, music and the works. Personally, I think a smaller affair has more impact than a large one but you may think otherwise.

In closing, you have to just take the time to sit down and figure out what would be important to the two of you before planning something elaborate. I was very happy with the private exchange that KnyghtMare and I had, and while I can’t remember what I was wearing. I remember the look in his eye when he placed the collar on me.

And that’s the important part, right?