10 Tips to Make Moving In With Your Dominant (or vise-versa) Smooth and Easy

Many of the things we do when it comes to BDSM and D/s relationships seem to come faster than in a traditional relationship, so often we forget that the base of a D/s relationship is a traditional one. You are still two people that plan to cohabitate. With that comes decisions and plans, change and adjustment periods.

In the first list of tips, I want to give I'm going to cover the more basic 'vanilla' ideas that will make your submissive more comfortable as they move into your home. The second list is BDSM based tips that will hopefully start your relationship on a good footing now that you are living under the same roof.

Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic

Using my experience as a service submissive, I'd like to share what non-sexual service is and help you figure out if service is something you want to explore. I'll talk about a few different styles of service you could learn. Then we'll cover how you can start adding aspects of service into your relationship.

How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission

Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and happiness that I feel for him, and remind me that he cares for me. Rules are in place to keep me in line, place my heart and mind in the submissive mindset, and to make sure that I hold myself in his honor.

Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

A Feminist Submissive - Does Such a Person Exist? Yes! And I'll Tell You Why

Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.

Deceptive Submissive - The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant

Bogus submissives have only their own self-interest in mind; they manipulate others and take advantage of them for their own agenda. They cause just as much emotional damage as bogus Masters. They are a special breed of sexual predator.

A Key To Slave Bliss: Contentment

Being content as an individual is most important, the reason being that the level of contentment held by an individual is a clear reflection of how content they are in general and more importantly, it speaks to how much they enjoy their own company.

I'm Worried I'm Not Enough for My Dominant

He's in love with me as well but I'm not so sure that I'm what he needs anymore. His need for his sadistic ways to flourish are being held back by me. As his submissive /slave, is it wrong for me to decide this for him? Tell him that I'm no longer what he needs. Or do I sit back and watch the man I love, my Master, struggle internally?

Taking a Break - Submissive Meditation Monday

Sometimes I experience moments of intense stress and during these times, I want to shed as much as I can that can cause me that stress. "Taking a break" from everything, as it were.

Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 6 of 7) - A Few Notes on High Protocol

While good manners are important in all situations, leather protocol should not be a source of anxiety for novice doms and subs. In part 6 of Ambrosio's series on Protocol and Etiquette, a few rules for formal introductions, dining and general "vanilla" etiquette are covered.