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The False Comfort of Labels on Our Personal Identity in Kink

We allow ourselves to become trapped within the created labels of others we are essentially accepting an external level of control or entrapment. Becoming comfortable and accepting of yourself is when you will find your personal strength and internal peace.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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Financial Control in D/s Relationships

There are many different aspects to financial domination, maybe as many as there are D/s relationships. There is a chance that at some point the issue of financial domination will come up between you and your Dominant. If and when this happens, here is some practical advice.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Conquer Me

By far this is one of the better books on submission I've read in recent memory. I strongly urge you to get a copy of your own!

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals

In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation.

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Telling the Difference Between a Ritual and a Protocol

Rituals and protocols can add richness, structure and even a little fun to a D/s relationship. Knowing the difference between the two can help the submissive better understand the desires and intentions of the dominant, and to be more pleasing when performing them.

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How Giving a Blowjob Has Taught Me That Service and Pleasure Are One

I used to hate giving blow jobs. But now I can say that I actually enjoy them.

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How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive

Don't be afraid to speak up when you need or want something different. You never really stop negotiating in D/s.

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9 Books on BDSM and D/s I've Read More Than Once (They're THAT Good!)

You have to admit that the books that resonate with you the most, are ones you've read more than once. Here's my list of 9 of the best BDSM and D/s related books that I've pulled off the shelf time and time again.

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