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Content related to "Rules, Rituals and Protocol"

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Safewords

A safeword is a vocal brake in play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. It is a simple word or phrase that requires very little thought process to utter as a sign of distress or caution. Understand how to select your safeword and why it’s important in the following articles.

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A Day in the Life

This series will present to you another submissive's typical day of service to their Dominant so you can walk in their shoes for awhile. It's fun to learn and grow and understand where others are coming from. Do you have a story to share? This series is an ongoing one - so please feel free to send me your Day in the Life stories.

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Pain Processing

Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or another so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Now, no matter what processing method you use, there are ways you can learn to process pain differently to enjoy pain play more fully, allow you to take more pain and to push your pain edge further.

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Play Parties

When you enter the local BDSM community one of the events you may be exposed to is a play party. A play party is an essentially a party where BDSM play can occur. Groups hold parties as a way to learn and educate on safe play methods, chat about topics and generally hang around.Learning about play parties may be intimidating at first but they don’t have to be.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Sex

Often enough, sex is involved in some form when you engage in BDSM play. But what if you don’t have a large repertoire? Let’s learn about the many varieties of sex and sex play from orgasms and anatomy to anal play and blow jobs. And everything else you can think of!

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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D/s Breakups

The breakup of a relationship is a difficult time for those involved. It is fraught with emotion and frustration. It makes it even more painful when the lines of trust are cemented like those in a D/s relationship. Likened to going through a period of grief you are sure to experience an array of feelings that can vary from fear, anger, rage, and denial. Seek comfort and help in the following articles.

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