Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

One response to “Safewords Are Not “Safe Words””

  1. Keith Smith

    Thank you lunarKM for this post “Safewords are not ‘Safe Words’”. Your safety that is our safety is our own responsibility primarily. I throughly recommend playing at organised play parties. They are the only places I play at. As you say there are monitors at these events who keep an eye on proceedings. Also I usually only play with people that I know. I would only play with someone who would respect the limits, their limits and mine. If I or they want play to stop it would stop straight away. People who play with me check on me at frequent intervals, that is they check that I am still alright. An example of this was when the Top who was playing with me had noticed that I had for a short time stopped breathing. As it worked out I was alright. In the excitement of what was happening I had forgotten to breath.

    As a session progresses it is very usual that the intensity increases. When I am playing with someone who knows me well I can relax quite completely. This means that when I am not in a position myself to make a good judgement call as to when a session should stop the person playing with me is able to make that call. This could be because I have drifted off into sub space. I have only consciously gone into sub space on one occasion, that being the first time that I had played publicly. I knew or strongly suspected that the person playing with me was fairly new to Topping. How new I did not find out till after the session, I was the first person she had Topped. How close to drifting off into sub space I have gone on subsequent occasions I have no idea.

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