Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Ted_subby is a 49 year old submissive to his monogamous dominant wife of over a dozen years. On his male submission web page at he posts fictional stories as well as a blog of his experiences with his dominant wife. Feel free to message him on FetLife or e-mail.

9 responses to “Male submission – Financial Domination”

  1. rocco

    cant help it,want to be a dog train to act like a dog in everyway own me just wear a dog coller I cant explane it,

  2. ted_subby

    @rocco, that sounds like fun to me.

    You might want to login to http://www.fetlife.com and find one of the many pet play groups (type in pet play in the search box). If they accept classified ads you might even find someone to train you.

    There are also many other web sites, if you google search for pet play that will probably get you several web hits.

    Here is a link to a good article on The Submissive Guide about pet play: http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/04/pet-play-human-pets-primer/.

  3. Andrew

    If you look around, you’ll find that the vast majority of ‘FinDoms’ are in fact—only in it for the money. I have no problem with a submissive giving up his money, or control over his finances, as a means to facilitate power exchange; after all, money is power. However, I think the majority of transactions, and the people involved, are doing nothing different than what a professional Dominatrix ordinarily does. He pays her money, and she fulfills his kink so he can get off.

    Power exchange is something that only really happens in a relationship, not a session. Yes, there is some power exchange going on during a session, but it is well defined, short lived, and benefits both parties equally. There is a tit-for-tat dynamic there that doesn’t exist in lifestyle domination.

  4. Feline du Nord

    As a lifestyle Domina who occasionally Pro Dommes I’d like to respond.
    All subs I interact with surrender to my will. In neither my Lifestyle D/s or my Pro D/s is there EVER tit for tat. I enjoy myself with subs and slaves. The ones that come to me as Pro-D pay like they would pay a Top Chef who will let them experience a Chef’s Special. There will be no delivering of the sub’s wishes… There is only surrender to My Dominance, so yeah: Power Exchange….
    Fin-Dom is one of the many kinks I enjoy. Both my Lifestyle subs/slaves as the Pro D/s are expected to shower me with attention in the form of money, gifts, outings etcetera… Because I am their Queen… Because they like to please me and see me happy and content they perform this duty.
    Some enjoy a bit of humiliation… And I enjoy seeing that… Some just live for my happiness… And I enjoy that immensely.

  5. ted_subby

    @Feline du Nord: Thank you for the comments.

    I believe that when a Domme is clear about that, as you are in your comments, then that is great because if that fits what a sub is looking for then they can experience that.

    @Andrew: I am sorry that I missed your comments earlier, when you posted them. I agree with you that there are plenty who claim to be a FinDom but are not dominant at all. I also believe that there are plenty of legit FinDoms who are what a finsub is looking for but not in any sort of tit-for-tat way.

  6. shelli_k18

    Putting my income directly into her bank account, “Managing Finances” of this sissy, my gf gets to make the big decisions without the responsibility of working for the income. This makes me feel out of control, free of the worries, expectant of her to manage it, and condemning her for loss of control. Yes, I gave her this, and I don’t deny it. But I see her not working and is it envy or just the inequality that has me upset?

    I am still learning my submissive role..
    Sissy shelli

    1. lunaKM

      Hi shelli_k18, I guess it depends on if she’s abusing and misusing your money. I understand feeling uncomfortable with handing over your hard earned money and then not having a say on how it’s spent. Is there a reason she’s not working? Is she looking for work? Or is financial submission a kink for you two? Of course if it’s not working and only making you upset then I suggest you try to sit her down and talk about how you feel.

    2. ted_subby

      @shelli_k18: Financial domination does not need to be in a D/s relationship. As with most any other dynamic, it is best to discuss with your partner to find what would work best for both of you together.

      In this case, if you feel uncomfortable or upset about it, then I strongly recommend talking with your gf to come up with a dynamic which works best for both of you. Your submissive role is whatever you both discuss and agree upon, it is not something you just need to submit to without agreeing upon it.

      Regarding one member of a relationship working and another not, that too is a good discussion to have with your gf. There is no right and wrong about it, and you two may not even agree on what would work best for you, but a discussion is the best way to address the issue in my view.

      Being upset in a relationship in my view means that a good discussion is in order. One discussion may not resolve the issue, but without a discussion being upset is likely to continue or get worse.

      -Bluebonnet1′s Ted

  7. mike

    Well. Financel domination. The slave pay to get a chance to get a Master. (talking about gayslaves). If the slave is very lucky he might be allowed to talk to the Master for a few minutes. Most Masters ignores the slaves after they got the money. Some Master might talk to the slave a few minutes. If the slave dont pay more the Master dont care about the slave. I been doing this many time. Same thing everytime. Most slaves knows it but they still hope for a Master. I talked to many slavs and Masters about it. Most Masters told me that if someone is so stupid to pay to let them. Why should i work when faggots pay my rent and bills. And why should i care about a slave… Thats how the financel domination looks for male slaves who are gay. I dont know aboutabout the heteroslaves. Maybe they are diffrent.

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