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The Truth About Orgasm Control and Denial
May 28, 2009 by lunaKM [1,299 views]
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The idea of orgasm control or denial strikes fear in novice submissives. “What do you mean give over my ability to orgasm whenever I want?” Sure you could think of it that way, but in terms of your submission it could mean so much more. Let me start with the basic definitions.
Orgasm Control: When a Dominant takes over the right to a submissive’s orgasms. This can be from not allowing the submissive to come without permission to requiring that all orgasms be given by the Dominant. Many other variations also exist.
Orgasm Denial: This is much like a game to some Dominants. An activity where a submissive is brought to the brink of orgasm and then denied the permission to orgasm. Many times this also means the cessation of contact. It can be done occasionally during play or be a long term modification to that submissive’s rules.
The truth is that not all Dominants enjoy controlling a submissive’s orgasms and it is more likely seen in Female Dominant relationships. I don’t know the reason for this, nor do I have any statistics but only what I’ve seen and read. My Master is more into control than denial. He likes to know when I’m nearing orgasm. It’s a power and pleasure thing.
An interesting training option for orgasm control is Come on Command training. It’s a form of hypnotic suggestion that can and does work. Then the Dominant totally owns your orgasms because you can’t control them yourself. A trigger word, phrase or touch sets it off.
When it comes to your submission, offering over your sexuality in this way can be very humbling. An orgasm can be a lot of things to people. It can be stress relief, pleasure, connection or even just private time. Giving over your orgasms to someone else to control is part of ultimate surrender.
What are your thoughts on orgasm control? Is it something that is a part of your relationship?
photo by Driving in Heels
7 Comments
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When my slave and I started our newly-defined relationship, orgasm control was one of the natural outgrowths of that. Of course, our version of orgasm control is for him to ask permission before he orgasms (without ejaculating) and his ejaculation orgasms are limited to once or twice a week at most because his libido stays higher that way. These are restrictions he created for himself but which I am given the power to control.
wow!! Master is about both somtimes he denies me other times he wants me to cum as much as possible, it depends on his mood and wheather or not i have been a good girl.
That is definitely possible! The power is in the way your Master controls your orgasms. :)
I occasionally do a bit of denial, but I am much more into control, and have been training my slave to cum on command quite successfully. She is not allowed any orgasms without my permission, so during times we are apart, she sometimes suffers greatly. But it only makes her orgasms that much more intense and devastating when they are allowed once more, deepening her slavery as she depends on me to grant her those explosions of joy.
My Master enjoys having the control. I am not allowed to cum without his permission. If we are together I must also beg and am often denied at least for a time. We are trying to work on cumming on command but as of yet I cannot do this:(
I do both as well..She has multiple orgasms when i tease her and make her tease herslef and stay on edge for 2-4 days or more..She literally has not squirted yet but she is so close that her release are like a flood..I make her wear nothing to work under her clothes, no panties whatsoever unless it is that time of the month. She calls or texts me at certain times of the day and she is flowting in partial subspace sometimes with peasure and wanting to cum so bad but the control is there ansd she knows that she cannot. If i said one word to her even at work she would cum all over herself, so i keep her just teetering over the edge but not quite fallin over. It has been a learnig process for some time now and I am teaching her that I can make her cum on command if and when i choose and she loves it. It takes trust and prectice to have gotten this far but she is such a willing sub to the point of almost a slave, in fact she has slave tendencies and I am slowly exploring. Orgasm denial and control has been one priority that was initially entered into her training. Never have i had a sub who has such a willing and open mind to suggestion. It is a Master’s dream come true in a sub or slave.
This is a topic my girlfriend and I are very interested in. We’d like to have it so that she can make me aroused and hard with a trigger word. Then I would stay hard yet be unable to orgasm until she speaks another trigger word to make me orgasm. Anyone know of any good resources to help us learn to do this?