The Beginner at Play: A Novice's First Experience in BDSM

I am very much aware of how mild and tame the following post is. This isn't an account of extreme BDSM. It isn't an account of me becoming a slave, or what I would consider myself becoming a full on sub. It is simply a retelling of my first and only foray/insight

Honest Communication or Bust

"Full transparency" isn't just something we bat around on BDSM forums. And it's not necessarily something exclusive to the master/slave or owner/property dynamics. It's actually sort of important in any relationship, regardless of dynamic, or lack thereof. It is the key to "making it work". And it's best to start in the beginning.

I didn't start until what was almost the end. I wasted the first six years of our relationship telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. I thought it was my duty. My responsibility as property.

Orgasm Control: Learning How to Ask for an Orgasm

In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to ask for an orgasm whether in or outside of a scene.

You Tattooed What on Your Ass? - Rational Thinking about Relationship Tattoos

We have to live with ourselves and understand that being in the lifestyle doesn't make us dumb or up for anything anyone wants us to do. We have outside lives, families and jobs that we have to show up for. So when thinking about that slave tattoo, slut on your right butt cheek or a dildo wrapped around your leg tattoo remember how do you want to represent yourself to the world.

It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship

In a nutshell, my submission had gone stale and moldy like a piece of bread that had fallen between the fridge and the sink. At this point it also really sunk in that I was not a failure as a submissive and it was going to be okay.

Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink

Ending the marriage was one of the hardest decisions I had to face. I still loved him, he was a great guy and we had fun together. I don't recommend divorce as the solution to all bedroom problems but let me share what steps we took before a divorce was my final solution.

Submission in Gratitude

There is so much to be thankful for and this year, as I look back, I see the amazing abundance that comes to us in various ways, but I also find myself appreciative and grateful for the opportunity to have learned (and keep learning) about Dominance and submission.

Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship?

I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Do I need to accept that my pleasure is not a consideration in our relationship?

Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup

Breaking up is traumatic and should be managed like grief and loss. It can't be rushed and everyone deals with it differently. But as long as you have patience you can help your partner make it out the other side.

Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

How do you cope with sexual frustration? Kayla helps you figure out what you should do when you have been teased and then left high and dry when your partner gets too busy.