Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

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7 responses to “Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives”

  1. Keith Smith

    Horray I like this post “Strong and Submissive Exploring the phenomenon of strong submissive females”. I am a male submissive. I am also a strong male. Strong not in a physical sense but strong in my thinking. I offer my submission to the Dominant freely and willingly. If I did not enjoy the experience the Dominant would no longer play with me. Yes I can be passive as well. I can be a contradiction in terms. As regards who I like to play with, I like a Dominant who knows what he or she is doing, an experienced Dominant. My preference is for the Dominant to be female. But I have discovered that the gender or orientation of the Dominant does not matter. I have had real good sessions with male Dominants. I am also a masochist. Not all submissives are masochists.

  2. Kevin

    I really enjoyed the article and feel that it applies well to both men and women. As a side note, I am a male sub in a 24/7 relationship, but I am very “dominant” and self-assured in my daily life. I’ve never cared for the stereotypical slavish weak male portrayed in BDSM culture. But maybe there are more slave/humiliation-oriented men in the scene vs. submissive in a D/s context.

  3. Brenda

    Thank you for this article, I read it twice. My husband and I are just starting to explore the D/s world and we are taking it very slow. When I first approached the idea he asked me why I wanted to try this. I don’t remember what I said but I know I was not able to articulate exactly what I wanted to say in that moment. But, this article helped me put things in perspective and will help me to communicate why I want certain things. Thankfully we have open communication and if I ask him to read this article, he will.

    Your paragraph that starts “On the most superficial level…” really spoke to me as I am that executive women who make decisions all day but am also submissive. I constantly hear that I am such a strong, self-sufficient women and that I don’t need anyone. But there is more to life then just being financially stable and kicking ass to have a career and an education. I need nurturing and attention as well and I find that submitting to my husband gives me just that. I believe this is going to be an exciting journey that we take.

    Thanks again.

  4. soror

    Nice article. I have always been the major breadwinner in any relationship I have had, and enjoy taking responsibility for my work and those who report to me. I am more or less incapable of not speaking my mind, choose (outer…) clothes that too often are found in the cliche movie Domme wardrobe…but I am entirely submissive in my private life. I’ve had vanilla arrangements where I end up exhausted, wound up, scared and worn down, because it’s really hard to never have a moment when someone else takes care of you (yeah, yeah, in both senses of that phrase), and when your contributions are fully valued and repaid in the sorts of care and attention that’s needed to recalibrate, to restore the balance needed to be a whole self. Yep, it means that vanilla men and rubbish Doms can mistake all this and things can tip into abusiveness, but walking away is always an option (and how surprised they are when it happens, because a deep understanding of the balance required of the outwardly dominant female submissive is something nillas and newbies [and nasty pieces of work] tend not to have). So, great article, thanks: I equally smile and shake my head when folk assume I’m keen as hell to get my whip out on them. But the Dom/mes that can work that tension out and understand the odd dynamic are both incredible and well-rewarded :)

  5. Pete

    The more we progress as a society the more we become open-minded (sexually as well), Dom/mes are gaining more and more traction and becoming less taboo-ish.

  6. Raine

    Thank you, thank you thank you!! You hit the nail right on the head, you put into words which i have been struggling to explain to others, as I am dominant in my public life, but submissive in my personal life. Previous relationships have failed because I have had to carry it over into private and i got burnt out and frustrated. Thank you for explaining it clearly for others to understand!

  7. Raquel

    I can really relate to this post because I am very out spoken and strong willed but what no one knows is that I just want someone to take care of me so I tend to act like I’m all tough but at the end of the day I just want someone to hold me.. Growing up I never hit attention from my mom or dad my siblings did. I believe that I am a submissive because I love to please people and make them happy and I hate when I disappoint someone…

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