Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Ted_subby is a 49 year old submissive to his monogamous dominant wife of over a dozen years. On his male submission web page at he posts fictional stories as well as a blog of his experiences with his dominant wife. Feel free to message him on FetLife or e-mail.

9 responses to “Male Submission – The Worm”

  1. selkie

    Thanks for this, it is always interesting to get some insight into the male side of submission and I look forward to your next article.

    I find this article interesting because some of the worm’s qualities that you list remind me of the doormat dynamic in female submission which is generally regarded with disdain, unfortunately. But also, like worm, the term “doormat” seems to be very subjective (ugh, again with the labels, I know!).

    I think I will look deeper into the similarities/differences into the two dynamics. As you say, “there are many different mindsets in BDSM…” so I wonder if doormat can’t be just as meaningful in its own way. Im sorry if my drawing comparisons between worm and doormat offends, but I’m genuinely curious, now!

  2. tequilarose

    This was a really great article ted! Male submission has always been one of those things that have always been a bit of a mystery to me. I have also felt that male submission is a bit different than female submission, and also harder. To me, it takes an extremely strong man to admit that he has the need and desire to serve because of societal norms saying how a “real” man should act. Kudos to you ted for having the courage to follow your heart and write a great article about an aspect of male submission. I do look forward to reading more from you!

    1. selkie

      tequilarose,
      I felt the same way as you about male submission being different from what we do to the point where I wasn’t even sure how to relate to ted_subby at first, but after getting to know him almost a year ago, I found that its not a lot different. That may have a lot to do with the fact of our common circumstances – were both married to our Masters – but I think also that we are similar in other ways as well.

      1. tequilarose

        I feel that for either male or female submissives, that the desire and drive to serve is there. That’s just something that doesn’t change. I think there is more a of a negative stigma with male submissives than with the female and a lot of people do let those stigmas and stereotypes get in the way from being able to realize that we’re not that different at all! With reading this article, for some reason, really opened my eyes and made me realize that we’re not that different at all!

  3. bonimiss

    Very interesting article ted. I hesitate to use the word label but is “worm” a common mindset among submissive men? Are there other mindsets (I like that better) applied to male submission?

    @selkie .. interesting comparison to the doormat concept. Unfortunately the word doormat has so many negative connotations associated with the word and so many are quick to judge that it may never escape its current usage.

Leave a Reply

Please respect the comment posting guidelines when adding a comment. Thank you.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.


Want to get More from Play? The Improved and Expanded Processing Pain in Play ebookTeaches you How!