HI, I'm 18, just turned in April, but I'm interested in being a submissive. I've been curious about it since I was fifteen, but really started wanting to experiment this year. I've always wanted to do a lot for the people I care about. When I was younger, I spent an entire weekend just getting things and helping out my older brothers, doing whatever they asked me to do and I loved it (*blush* I made them call me by a nick-name and I would say, but it's unique and they'd know instantly it was me and I'm not out to anyone yet). I enjoy doing things for my friends like running around for them or helping them with hard tasks, ut at home, I don't like to clean and I'm a lot attitude-y. My step-dad demands his respect and he wants to be cooked for and served and I have to clean the house and help construct his concrete wall and still I'm undeserving of living under his roof and he spends all afternoon after work on the couch watching tv really loudly, usually, (he builds the wall o n the weekends or Friday afternoons) so I can't go to sleep because all I hear is him talking and the tv on. My Mom says I'm just rebellious and I need to learn how to deal with it and to manipulate. Anyhow, I'm a virgin in relationships and sex. I'm confused. I feel like I want to be a sub, but then I think "Is this just me fantasizing and I wouldn't like it in real life?" And should I do vanilla first? And at the same time I detest doing anything at home when my St-d is there. I'll clean and cook and everything when alone or with anyone else, but when he's there, I simply refuse and I'm frustrated and my Mom is, too. I'm learning to cope with his presence when I clean, but I still feel yucky inside. He's been around for 4 years now and he came in expecting respect and obedience. He's not awful, except he tallies every single thing I do wrong and puts price tags, so I basically owe him money for the next 500 yrs and my first-born child to boot. My question: Am I really a submissive with all these rebellious tendencies or is just fantasy and affection for me? I'm really confused.

Hi confused,

It's understandable to be confused right now. You are still young and inexperienced. However, from reading your email I do have to say that I'm confused too. You have two very separate situations going on. One is your issue with your stepfather and another is your questioning if you are submissive or not.

First, being rebellious to a step parent is actually pretty normal. For a variety of reasons you do not like your stepfather and it's showing in how you respond and behave around him. If it's a problem and you'd like to fix it, I suggest finding a therapist that can work with the entire family to make things work for you.

Now, as to if you are submissive? That's up to you and what you think. Submissive men and women can be in control of their lives, many hold managerial positions or higher and still submit to their partners. There are many who have dominant personalities that do not get in the way with their desire to serve and submit. There are even submissives that enjoy being bratty and rebellious in play so that's an option as well. So, if you think you might enjoy submission, then try it. You won't know until you experience it.

All the best,

lunaKM