Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Ted_subby is a 49 year old submissive to his monogamous dominant wife of over a dozen years. On his male submission web page at he posts fictional stories as well as a blog of his experiences with his dominant wife. Feel free to message him on FetLife or e-mail.

12 responses to “BDSM To Cure Insomnia”

  1. yauhack

    I found relief to another sleep-related problem in my D/s relationship. I had a very irregular sleep schedule, often going to bed very late even though I was supposed to be at work early next morning. I found it difficult to get up and often overslept. I was on flextime so nobody at work took any notice, but as a result I often ended up working late into the evening which did nothing to break the spiral.

    I discussed this with my Mistress, with whom I had a long-distance relationship, and She made a habit of ordering me to bed sometime before 11 PM. I was to get up immediately at the first wake-up alarm at a time of my own choosing – usually 6:30 AM. If I snoozed or overslept, that would mean corporal punishment – usually cold showers or kneeling on a rough carpet, as She was not present to administer it herself.

    This worked surprisingly well. Going to bed had used to be a somewhat unpleasant routine as it always interrupted something grand I was doing in the evening. But when it was my Mistress telling me to go to bed, I found myself [anxiously] waiting for the command sometime after 10 PM. The routine of going to bed was connected to our D/s relationship and the positive feelings I got from it.

    Getting up in the morning was still a bitch, though, but I prevailed more often than not and felt it in my skin when I didn’t ;) Too bad the positive effects did not last once the D/s dynamic of our relationship faded, and once again I struggle to maintain a healthy schedule.

  2. jpsub

    I do this also. My master wakes me up he when he cannot sleep. When he wakes me up, I feel more relaxed and he can do what he wants to me without me fighting against him because of the pain and the unknown. I am a new sub, so it makes me feel comfortable and not skittish because I am tired. Sleep is necessary because of my med condition, but it is important for him to sleep and he gets what he wants. It gets me to practice on what he wants from me and be better at it.

  3. selkie

    Thanks, Ted_subby,
    I have narcolepsy and take amphetamines to stay awake, which carry with them the side effects of insomnia. Fantasizing is what I do to fall asleep, too, and I’ve also found that it kick-starts my creative juices. I don’t know if you’ve ever read the book, “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan, but if i remember correctly, the authors talk about the awakening of your creative self during that stage of sleep, where your just starting to drift off. That first stage is reffered to as N1 by sleep specialists. So, what your doing is actually two fold: Your helping yourself to fall asleep and fostering your creativity!
    -selkie

  4. selkie

    ted_subby,

    I seem to remember that Theta activity is experienced in our brains during N1 stage, and is also experienced during meditation? So accessing creativity while in Theta is easiest and when we are most inspired by our Masters/Mistresses… I mean, Muses! :-)

  5. subKenneth

    I realize that the last comment was about a year ago, but anyhoo…

    Maybe its psychological in my case, perhaps medical psychological since I was diagnosed with clinical depression, but slipping into subspace from a flogging then holding onto my partner, then falling into bed, sends me off so fast I was disturbed. Disturbed since I typically go a 24 hours awake followed by 12 hours half asleep while 30 lashes made me snore (and I’m not known to snore).

    Just sucks that I can’t have anyone sending me into subspace everynight =(.

  6. JJ

    Playtime always leaves me ready for a snack, a hot bath and bed
    Expecting me to be productive immediately post play is a recipe for disaster, I’m way too blissed out

  7. Ted

    @JJ: That is good. Intense sessions like that are in my view the most fun.

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