Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

22 responses to “You Are Not Going To Hell: My Personal Thoughts on Balancing Christianity and Kink”

  1. subnipples

    I was raised Catholic. About twenty years ago, my ex-wife and I were going through rough times. She knew that I had been in the BDSM scene for about ten years before we were married and though she had not been she was interested in BDSM. I had vacillated back and forth, as several others in this blog have commented, about my feelings/desires and sin.

    Early in our marriage the relationship was more like equals and that wasn’t working. So, one night I agreed to be my ex’s slave and changed the dynamic of our marriage. I agreed to obey her. Within a few days I was hit with the guilt trip about what I had done. So, I brought the subject up to a Priest. I left that discussion amazed and in disbelief.

    The first thing the Priest asked me after I told him that I agreed to be my wife’s slave was about my state of mind…was I sober? Answer was yes. Did I agree to obey her completely? Answer was yes. Was I free to make the decision. Answer was yes. Was there a discussion about punishment? Answer was yes, I agreed that she could punish me. Was there restrictions placed on the punishment or did I give her unrestricted ability to punish me and enforce the agreement? Answer was yes, I gave her unrestricted ability to punish me.

    Then the Priest enlightened me. He first told me that society would not understand what he was about to tell me. First, Christ did not come to free the slaves, but, told them to be obedient to their masters and the masters to treat their slaves well. He then told me that forced slavery was wrong and a sin, however, there was no sin with a person voluntarily, as I had with my wife, and of their own free will becoming another person’s slave/property.

    He then informed me that my wife and I had altered our marriage contract and he declared me her slave and her property. I had knowingly and freely given up my freedom and I had solidified it by agreeing to be obedient, allowing unrestricted punishment and I had given her the right to enforce the agreement. He did lay down the following caveat…she could not kill or maim me and that we must keep it inside the marriage. Further, he forbade me to ever ask for release as our agreement was for life and that if she offered me freedom, both of us had to agree or agreement would remain in effect. Concerning punishment and enforcement of the agreement he stated that he wouldn’t recommend it, but, she had every right to enforce the agreement up to and including the use of whips and chains.

    I left dumbfounded and over the next month talked to two additional Priests, not in the detail that this first conversation took, however, in each case the Priest told me to submit. The second added a comment that he had found that a number of good marriages where he had counseled were marriages where one partner was dominant and the other submissive and many were female lead…he told me to embrace it my position in the marriage.

    I told my wife and she did not release and I spent the next fifteen or so years as the submissive in that relationship until a couple of years ago when she found a new partner and no longer wanted a slave.

    The freedom that gave me was unbelievable and if given the opportunity again with the right person…I’d give that same commitment again.

  2. Beauty_for_Ashes

    I have two questions. First, I am a female Christian single sub, and I’m currently looking for a partner, and hopefully future husband. How does one find a partner interested in BDSM who is also Christian? Finding a good vanilla Christian man to date is hard enough!

    I am wondering if you have advice on finding a Christian Dom? (Incidentally, I have a profile on Fetlife (Beauty_for Ashes for all of you men out there!). I have never attended a munch because I am scared I might lose my privacy, and that’s important because of the job I have. I am also wondering if I would find any Christian Doms at a munch anyway.

    Second, I haven’t searched your site yet for this, so please excuse me if you’ve already covered this — but, if you are on a vanilla dating site, how you you signal to the men that you’re a sub without coming out and saying it? I don’t want that fact broadcasted to everyone on the Internet in case someone recognizes me. Any thoughts? Thank you.