Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

I have been in the lifetsyle for almost 5 years, and submissive to SirLancelot for almost as long. I see myself as a 'sub with slave tendancies', sometimes more one than the other. I love playing with my Master, but am driven by my journey into exploring our M/s relationship.

7 responses to “Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better”

  1. Stasia

    Thank you for this. I am now, new. My Dom has many yrs in the life style. He asked me limits but with regard to physical liabilities. We have yet to explore the sexual facet of our relationship. That will be this weekend. Thank you for your openness. I feel confidence in expressing my limits.

  2. BLBlitzer

    Thank you! Thank you! I am very new in the lifestyle and have just been asked about my hard and soft limits. I had made a guess on what was meant by “hard and soft”… but I didn’t think it was something to be hit-or-miss about and I had my doubts. You covered it through and through. Even had me laughing… why “act as a table” and puking on the Dom’s shoes. LOL Great stuff… I can certainly relate! Thanks again!

  3. suniedazed

    Thank you for this, I am very new to the L.S also but have always been submissive. When we got into the L.S the first thing we did was put a lot of thought into my hard limits, and one is Breath play and that is one that is mentally harming to me I was physically abused and would be “choked out” among other things growing up. W/we met a D laid down the hard ones that i have, and my Husband/Sir informed the other about them and why they were not to be crossed and that one was esp., besides putting me in a very bad spot mentally it can be physically also i have asthma. The last scene we were in with this other D that line was crossed and it was done on purpose with me in total restraints, i couldn’t speak and couldn’t get my word out to stop the scene, couldn’t move my head and when tried he would push his body in harder where I couldn’t get breath…thrashing I drew my Husband/Sirs attention and he well fixed it…not an hour before the topic was talked about during a break in which the other D said something along the lines of hard limits were because people could not control “mind over matter” I still feel a little disturbed over it. The relationship has been severed i will say…

  4. Limits, Trust, and Irritating Doms | The Ground Beneath Her Feet

    [...] night, amid the intoxication of a few beers, we got into a discussion on hard limits (something She’s interested in) and how hard limits, with the right person, can perhaps [...]

  5. Bytch_Puddin

    Thank you, this has given me alot to think about as far as hard limits.

  6. Way2innocent

    I am to new to this.. i was just asked about my limits.. i have a few that i discussed but really part of me inside wants to trust that he knows whats best.. i feel trust with what he wants so far.. am into eagar to please..

  7. lunaKM

    Trust is good to have but he’s not a god, he’s a man. He can’t read your thoughts and doesn’t know what you do and don’t like, might have negative responses to or just find repulsive. That’s why limits exist – to protect you. Don’t forget yourself in your eagerness to please. If your partner felt the need to ask about limits they are important to him too.

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