Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

10 responses to “How to Use Role Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life”

  1. dale

    i have a wonderful woman who is submissive, she wants me to tell her what to do when we have sex. Now this is totally new to me. she has told me should would do anything i ask of her. she says she trusts me and my judgement as to whatever it is i want, Now my mind is going crazy as i dont know how far she will go with it or better yet what i am to provide for her. all i get is ” whatever you want i will do it no matter ” Now how do i read into that. is it like if i decide to have her give head to someone as i watch, or other things, or just keep things to our bedroom ?
    can you please give me some insite on this submissive side of hers.

    also she was in a submissive relationship before, i asked what they did and she says that is none of my buisness, which is true, she just says she will do whatever i ask of her, just no pain, good i hate pain.

    wait to here form you. dale

  2. Gabriella Simone

    Appreciate your comment that people role play because it is fun! I find that so much that is written about submissives involves darker situations than most people want to delve into.

    I write sex role play scripts and they are designed specifically for a dominant/submissive relationship in an incredibly fun and erotic way. Its unfortunate that most people view doms and submissives as being in rough and painful sexual situations.

    There are erotic and playful ways to have a dominant/submissive sex fantasy role play. It simply means that one partner does exactly what the dominant partner tells them. Nothing more. Nothing less.

    You can check out some scenarios and scripts at

  3. honey

    hey i have a boyfriend and we are having a baby *as i type* i never told him im submissive until now i asked him to piss on me and call me all types of degrading names and i want him to hurt me and tell me what to do. and i stopped myself becus i figured he was getting weirded out, so i asked him “do you think im crazy” he replied “no, it’s just you, and i love you. i understand you want to be dominated. i almost wet myself right then lol. but im pregnant now so it’s like how can he do that? i like to make him upset because thats the only time he gives me what i want… he hollers at me and puts this instant fear in me and i love it.
    but how do i get him to dominate me all the time without upsetting him? he is very much strong and manly but i want to feel that if you understand what i mean.

  4. honey

    no im not having the baby :) not yet.
    but i will say he do except some things but he slowly pulls away and it bothers me i tried to talk to him bout these things slowly but surely because i dont know a lot either but whats in my head, and he says things like … “how you wanna be punished” i dont wont him to ask, it takes away from the feeling and i did tell him that so he kinda getting it but he wont do somethings i want because he say “now thats just too much, i can’t do that” i dont even ask to be tied up or nearly anything i’ve read on this site. the main thing *dont laugh* is i ask him to piss on me , tell me i belong to you, punish me and just put that extra fear in me i like the adrenaline… he say pissin on me he just cant do but i been begging for it for a long time now. he jus say things like come suck papi’s dick or text wise “tell papi how u gonna suck this dick”
    funny thing is (hopefully he never finds this site) but i have to google sexy things to say about sucking his dick. he like me to be bad and take over but i dont get off on that so im just lost i do what he like i txt nasty things and in bed i fuk his brains out and suck his dick til he literately tickled. he get what he wants and i dont its not fair and me being pregnant i really get in my feelings about that. but out of bed he is the scariest thing walking, very in charge of everything, aggressive and assertive. WEIRD TO ME

  5. honey

    sorry i dont mean to type u to deaf but i never opened up to any of my friends bout this becus they for sure would look at me like im crazy and he the only man i felt safe enuf to tell and i cant even really get him to really SIT AND TALK ABOUT IT… he will like for 5mins and switch topics and i jus go with him *its my instinct to follow his lead

  6. LJ

    Okay so wow this is my first time posting on here! I’m a little worried but I do feel it needs to be said, I think that I am crawling out of my shell, when I say shell I mean “I feel I am becoming more submissive” I have heard this don’t happen for people who have been in relationships for over 14 years.

    But that’s what they say, I want to be in a more sexual relationship with my husband, he is the more mellow type, where I want more from him I want to be spanked, *where I’m left with a red hand print on my ass* I want my hair to be pulled *where my husband shows that he is in control of our love making*

    I want him to love my body in complete dominance! of course he gives me what I’m asking for but to be asked if he is doing it right, or can I feel his cock inside me, makes this type of love making not so great if he asks so many questions during our sexual encounter.

    Also would you have any pointers on how to have the male last longer in bed sport….I swear I want to be pleasured for hours if I could but my husband …..well he on the other hand is another topic.

  7. FatherJon

    Well, seeing as you ask….sounds to me that you’re ready for that next final step to total domination, taking his cock in your arse. It is also the most intimate level of any relationship between a man and woman in the BDSM scene, to be anally penetrated to the hilt.
    He should turn you over, grasping your hair tightly, after having left you with red marks from a very hard spanking, get your butt up in the air, lubricate your anus and gently slide his cock head into your widened, inviting rectum. The first stage is the most problematic, getting past the first sphincter, and should be handled gently. But from there it’s all plain sailing, or riding, choose your own metaphor. Good luck with it all, and let us all know if you follow my advice and if it was worthwhile.

  8. Ss

    I have been with my partner for 2 years now and I really would like to explore role play further. Whenever I bring up the topic to discuss what each of us like he says something along the lines of ‘I’ll be the lazy’ one which annoys me. Iv had fantasis and thoughts about being submissive for a long time now but he isn’t serious and I’m not sure he can play the manly man in control that I need, were only 20 and he doesn’t even have facial hair for crying out load. I love him but a but a blowjob a day would sort him out. I have played he dominant character before, for his pleasure but I not getting that back, not to the extent I need. I often fantasise about older me. Just because I feel they could give me what I crave.

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