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5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude to Your Dominant
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With Thanksgiving (USA) just around the corner I thought it would be fitting to write about gratitude, and how to express your gratitude to the one you serve. Sure you can say thank you. That’s standard. I really hope you take every opportunity to say thank you, but what if you want a few more creative ways to show how appreciative you are to your Dominant?
Being thankful can take on many forms, and each time we feel that sensation of gratitude well up we can use a different display of appreciation. For example, thanking your Dominant for giving you an orgasm will be treated differently than if you are grateful that hold the power in your life. Orgasm gratitude is usually expressed immediately after while you may take awhile to express your feelings for the later.
Take a moment and come up with some things you are grateful in your life that you may not have had before you were in a relationship with your Dominant. How important are they to your development and your overall happiness? When was the last time you showed your appreciation for these things? Is it about time you did?
So, what ideas do you have for expressing yourself? They can be simple or elaborate, as long as they are your own. Make it honest and full of your service.
Offer
The first idea is to offer a service that you don’t normally do. It can be anything. Give a massage, bathe their feet, sexual service that you don’t pine after (for me that’s analingus). Be a foot stool, be their tax preparer. Anything that would just make their day and surprises them would fit the bill. Just remember to make it a part of yourself. Offering to pay for them to attend a salon is not the same thing, as offering yourself for a day of pampering.
Create
This idea isn’t about making something, but setting a mood. If you know your Dominant is going to coming home from a stressful day, it would be as simple as soft lights and maybe candles to help them relax and shed the outside world. Making sure the home is picked up and inviting can bring a lot of emotion attached to it. It not only shows that you care for the household possessions, but also how it makes people feel when they enter.
You can also create an atmosphere appropriate for whatever may be planned. If play is on the menu, then neatly prepare your play space. If dinner is the order of the day, setting the table as if you are in a fine restaurant can show your appreciation for a number of things.
Do
Take an idea from online for a ritual that you don’t do. Perhaps it can be kneeling and then lowering your face cheek to cheek to the floor in submission or kneeling when you bring their drink. Adding that bit of focused attention is a pleasant surprise to a Dominant and shows them that you care for how you present your submission. There is any number of things you can do in this vein. From a specific way you adopt to disrobe, to how you reply to requests in a set format. It’s not just up to the Dominant to add ritual and intensity to the relationship. Volunteering these simple steps will tell them that you thank them for the opportunity to serve them.
Make
Sure it’s quite easy to go to the store and purchase something for them, but when was the last time you made something for them? You don’t have to learn anything or have specific skills. Make a special dinner or dessert, write a card or poem, put together a photo album or mosaic. Something homemade has more meaning than a purchased item.
Coming up next week I’ll share ideas of what to give a Dominant, until then use your imagination!
Rededicate
Ultimately, this should only be done if you are really ready to deepen your relationship or there has been a lapse in the dynamic that you wish to try to repair. Again, the ritual that this involves can be simple to elaborate so let your mind develop what would work for you. Even just setting aside time to talk about how you wish to submit and offering that over voluntarily expresses how you love the relationship and what they do for you. Again, you don’t have to wait for the Dominant to tell you to create a ritual or process for doing something. I’ve gained so many rituals just by starting it and having him say he really likes it.
If you have gotten lazy in your rules, start really digging in and doing them before you get in trouble. Don’t let their distraction sway you. You want to serve, that’s why you are in this relationship so serve. Your submission just might deepen their Dominance and the rededication can you an exchange, just as it should be.
Lastly, remember to say thank you when you do these things. Make it about them. We take too much for granted anymore. Don’t let your relationship become one of those things. Relationships build because we work at them, show how much you appreciate everything they do and you will also reap the rewards.
How do you show your gratitude to your Dominant?
photo by FernR
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This is an excellent topic, thank you for posting. I do much of what is on this list without it being requested. I love cooking special meals for Him, buying Him little trinkets I know He will like. Usually He comes over a few times during the week to spend the night, and leaves directly from my house to go to school. I make Him dinner on those nights, but have started preparing Him easy things to take with Him for breakfast as well, muffins, breads, getting fruit He likes, juice in smaller containers, etc. I always package dinner left overs for Him for lunch too.
It means a lot to me since we do not live together to be able to take care of Him even when I’m not physically there. Knowing He is eating the food I made Him, sustaining Him through His day so He does not have to take time out of His schedule to figure it out is wonderful for me.
I would pose the question also in what ways does your Dominant express His gratitude for you?
I had to visit a Dr. about 2 hours away from home and was gone most of the day. I texted Master when I was on my way back, letting Him know. He told me He wished to see me that evening. I despaired a bit, because I was so tired already, and had not thought I’d see Him that evening, so I had dinner where I was, further delaying my return. Of course I wanted to see Him, but I would have had to come home, drop everything, pack quickly and turn around and go back out again, take the train to His house, etc. I would have done it, but much to my surprise, He offered to come to my house.
He brought movies and and cuddled with me on the couch, took a long soak in the jacuzzi with me too, and rubbed my sore shoulders. He ordered take out dessert to be delivered to my house too, so we had late night cheesecake (my favorite). I felt so cared for and loved, and remarked on how much I appreciate Him coming to me that evening. He seemed surprised and said He knew how tired I was, and was more than happy to do it for me. :)
Also the other night I went to the movies with a friend. He called while I was there, and thus got my voicemail (which never happens). I had not told Him I was going to the movies, as it came up at the last minute. He told me later that if that had happened with any previous sub, He would have been upset, and worried and displeased, but He knew, because it was me, everything was okay, and He would hear from me soon. I felt such pride that He has trust and confidence in me in this way. He calls me “mein schatz” and treats me that way, always…
Just one recent example of the ways He appreciates me and all I do for Him…