Ok, I know this sounds like a silly question but I wanted to know what other submissives out there are being punished for. I have been a sexual submissive for three years now and my Dom and I are slowly bringing our dynamic out of the bedroom. I have read a lot of articles about punishment and so I know what the purpose of it is and different methods of punishment that Doms use, but I can't find any specific causes for the punishments. Basically, I want to be sure that I am not doing something in my relationship that I could or possibly should be punished for. I know that every relationship is different and using phrases like "pushing limits" and "disappointing Him" help to apply to everyone, but I was hoping that there would be a few brave souls out there that could share their stories of what they did, how they were punished and what they learned. I know that is a lot to ask people to divulge embarrassing and possibly painful details, but I am just trying to understand truly how a relationship with a punishment dynamic works.
A punishment dynamic usually starts with a negotiated set of rules or expected behaviors that the submissive is responsible for. Punishment happens when the submissive fails at following the rules or behaviors agreed upon. This is an important first step because that way the couple is on even footing and the submissive knows what's expected as well as the Dom knows what is being corrected and monitored. Unhealthy punishment dynamics can occur where the Dominant will punish the submissive for something they didn't know was wrong, because it was never discussed. Make sure you talk with your Dom about what the relationship will look like outside the bedroom.
As for what can be punishable behavior, I have a lot of rules I follow. If KnyghtMare is feeling the need for correction when I've slipped he will punish me. For example, I have to ask to drink pop(soda). If I were to have a soft drink without permission I would expect to be punished in some way. He never springs punishment on me and I always know why I'm being punished before the correction occurs.
Also, keep in mind that not all punishment is physical in nature. I work much better with what would be called 'grounding' when a child. Taking away privileges gets the message across to me a lot faster than a spanking would.
But since you asked for a broad response, I'm going to open this one up to the readers - for those of you in punishment dynamics why do you get punished? What are some stories you can share with this submissive?