Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

The Real Meaning Behind Service and Serving as a Submissive

Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.

What is Situational Service?

Situational service encompasses what I called conditional service. You serve only when presented with a specific set of circumstances, thus the situation is perfect for your service. This could be that you only submit on the weekends, or that you serve best when directed to do x, y and z.

Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic

Using my experience as a service submissive, I'd like to share what non-sexual service is and help you figure out if service is something you want to explore. I'll talk about a few different styles of service you could learn. Then we'll cover how you can start adding aspects of service into your relationship.

5 Types of Power Exchange Relationships

We can however, put every relationship into 5 different relationship types. I'm sure there are more, but for the purpose of this essay, I will be covering the 5 types that I can see in this life. This is not the only way to look at and describe relationships, but it is a good beginning. I am not a relationship expert and what I am writing about is my own observations. If you feel that another definition fits your idea of each relationship type, then by all means, please use your own.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

My Struggle with Accepting Domestic Service as Service

What makes what I do service? It's all in the attitude really. Sure I could trudge around scrubbing and cleaning with a frown on my face, looking like I had been made to do this or that and not happy at all. Or I could find the peace in it.

The Balance of Responsibility in a D/s Relationship

With all BDSM relationships varying so dramatically, it's hard to make a general assumption on who bears the burden of responsibility. It's important to embrace the responsibilities you do have and to act with great diligence when performing those duties.

Single in the Scene Part III: The Slave Resume

The slave resume is a snapshot of you - the services you thrive in, something you'd like to learn, S&M experiences/desires, interests, hobbies, in other words, you're sharing the highlights of yourself that you desire to find a compatible match for.

How to Keep Yourself From Being Overwhelmed in a Service Dynamic

Service in a power exchange dynamic can be a very intense and involved experience, especially when you’re in a 24/7 dynamic and “always on.”