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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Carte Blanche - Repeating Misbehavior Patterns

I'm going to talk about a submissive's mindset when it comes to repeat patterns in behavior and why we just can't keep our feet on the straight and narrow.

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Are Discipline and Punishment The Same?

Discipline and Punishment. The words are far from the same however some dynamics treat them the same. In fact, for the longest time, I have used the word punishment when I mean discipline. It’s even possible that Master has used these words interchangeably as well. I’ve done some thinking to try to sort out what these two words mean in our dynamic and how they are employed. I have a preference for clearly defined terms and boundaries so these two words are worth defining.

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How a Personal Protocol Can Aide Your Service

The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things that can happen in a relationship. It was an unspoken word when I was single. You didn't learn about protocol and no one I knew used a protocol to govern their own development and personal growth.

I'd like to change that. A personal protocol can bring you ahead of the game, no matter where you are in your submissive journey. In this article I'd like to give you a working definition of a personal protocol, how you can develop one whether you are single or in a relationship and what it can do for you.

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A Day in the Life: bonimiss

This is a post by bonimiss for the Day in the Life Series.

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Solo Coaching - Re-write Negative Thinking

It is within your power to change your beliefs. As soon as a negative thought shows itself it is your job to find evidence to disprove it. It will really help if you write this evidence down.

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Telling the Difference Between a Ritual and a Protocol

Rituals and protocols can add richness, structure and even a little fun to a D/s relationship. Knowing the difference between the two can help the submissive better understand the desires and intentions of the dominant, and to be more pleasing when performing them.

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Separating Fantasy from Reality - Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth

Fantasies are great lived and relived in our minds but there comes a time when our desire to experience what we've read is strong. Make sure you have all the facts and place yourself firmly in reality before you try to explore them. It will mean a safer more enjoyable time for you and your partner.

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Male Submission - Fantasy vs Reality

Many submissive men have fantasies which have been developed over many years, sometimes leading to a focus on extreme and/or specific situations despite not having experienced anything. This may lead to misunderstandings with potential partners between fantasies and actual desires as the sub man may not even be able to recognize the difference at first.

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Contracts as a Road Map to Ever-Evolving Dynamics

A written contract is a tool, simple as that. The written contract is not just useful to new dynamics trying to create a roadmap of new Power Exchange dynamic; it can help prevent problems up ahead and provide a lovely reminder of how far you've traveled together.

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