Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.
Read The Article | Find SimilarA safeword is a vocal brake in play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. It is a simple word or phrase that requires very little thought process to utter as a sign of distress or caution. Understand how to select your safeword and why it’s important in the following articles.
Read The Series | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarEssentially I think we all believe that Dominant/submissive is an exchange of power but when you talk about it with others there happens to be two schools of thought on it. It can really get confusing because each side believes they are right. I'd like to present to you the two ideas and let you make the decision; who has the power, really?
Read The Article | Find SimilarIt is important to develop a safe word system with your Dominant. There are many reasons why this is such a very good idea.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSo how would they know when the humiliation is damaging you? Is it possible to use humiliation as a punishment without damaging a sub's self-esteem or is it best reserved strictly for play alone & nothing more?
Read The Article | Find SimilarSo many submissives that have safewords feel that if they use it they have let their partner down and feel disappointed in themselves, but that's just not true.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMy opinion on whether safewords should be allowed during punishment (for misbehavior).
Read The Article | Find SimilarIf you don't use your safeword, you could be in for more than just an overly sore backside. A safeword is your lifeline and your partner trusts you to use it if you need to. TR shares a personal story where playing with no safewords went wrong.
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