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Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Safewords Don't Automatically Mean You're Safe

There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.

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Submissive on Your Own Terms: Analyzing The One True Way

There are those who believe that there is only one way to be submissive. Mistress Steel challenges those thoughts with critical thinking, to open up the idea that submission is personal and varied.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Sure it may turn you on, but you still get to decide how far you go to care for that. After all, BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body's responses to stimulus. It is not always sex.

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Single Submissives Need Personal Responsibility

Knowing how to keep yourself safe and guard your vulnerability until you can expose it to the one you trust is a valuable trait.

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Male submission – Financial Domination

There are several different types of Financial Domination, including dynamics which do not involve the dominant receiving any money whatsoever. This is often not understood when some people rail against Financial Domination as a legitimate kink.

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Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play

When the intensity of activities go up it's not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the ability to communicate clearly. So, something developed to help us is safewords.

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Video Review: Kink for Beginners

You are able to see kink done by real life people and the viewer can see the real connection and love between a full-time mistress/slave relationship.

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