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Content related to "Use Your Safeword Without Guilt - You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It"

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Article

Exploring Play and Punishment in a Long Distance Relationship

Playing by yourself (at the behest of your Dominant) requires a great deal of self-restraint and self-discipline. So how do you have play time when you’re in a long-distance relationship?

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Article

Emotional Moderation in Submission: Choose Your Emotions Wisely

As submissives, we are expected to express a modicum of restraint, most often in regards to our words and actions. Frequently, we do this to align ourselves with the expectations of the dominants who care for us. I propose that while it is admirable to used restraint and moderation in our words and actions, it is even more important to exercise moderation in our thoughts and feelings.

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Video

Define This: Safeword

In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is all about safewords. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.

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Article

Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes

Let's face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. No matter the type of play, being an informed bottom can help create the tools needed to foster a fantastic scene for both you and your play partner.

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Article

For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Nonverbal Ways to Safeword

There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In these cases it is nice to have a backup signal to slow or stop the play. Many of these times you are tied up, gagged or otherwise unable to vocalize. When you can't talk you need a safe object.

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Who Really Has the Power in a D/s Relationship?

Essentially I think we all believe that Dominant/submissive is an exchange of power but when you talk about it with others there happens to be two schools of thought on it. It can really get confusing because each side believes they are right. I'd like to present to you the two ideas and let you make the decision; who has the power, really?

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Using Your Fear for Better Submissive Growth

Just because we have fears doesn't mean we have to let the fears dictate our actions or responses. This means we need to be vigilant with our emotions. By this I don't mean controlling them, it is important to feel negative emotions as well as positive ones, we don't want to repress our negative emotions but rather be aware of them and how they can affect us.

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Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play?

Question is can you explain why she might throw up like that and what was going on for her - she is fine the next day and wanting to do it again -

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