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Content related to "The Safety Disguise of Safewords: Safewords Are Not Always Safe"

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Safewords

A safeword is a vocal brake in play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. It is a simple word or phrase that requires very little thought process to utter as a sign of distress or caution. Understand how to select your safeword and why it’s important in the following articles.

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Video

Define This: Safeword

In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is all about safewords. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.

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Article

The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Nonverbal Ways to Safeword

There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In these cases it is nice to have a backup signal to slow or stop the play. Many of these times you are tied up, gagged or otherwise unable to vocalize. When you can't talk you need a safe object.

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For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

You will learn that communicating is a whole new world when you enter into a BDSM relationship.

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The Controversy of Safe Words during Punishment

Receiving punishment without having a safe word in place isn’t for everyone.

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After "Red" : How to Manage the Aftermath When You've Used Your Safeword

You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.

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Alcohol and Kink Don't Mix - Being Under the Influence Negates Consent

Just like I won’t get in a car with someone who’s had too much to drink, I’m definitely not letting someone who’s intoxicated come at me with a flogger or tie me up, either.

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Article

Safewords Don't Automatically Mean You're Safe

There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.

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