If there’s one topic that comes up time and again on this blog, in readers’ emails to me and online forums is how do you care for bruises and other physical and emotional reminders of play? Since 2009 when I started writing this site I’ve returned to this topic time and again with interesting and useful suggestions and advice – to the point where it’s difficult for a new reader to find a place to start.
The following list of links is my suggestions on key posts on the topic of bruise care and aftercare from my archives. I hope you find them to be useful.
Learning About Aftercare
- The Anatomy of a Scene – What Happens? – a walk-through of what to expect from a scene from start to finish.
- The Question of Aftercare – Is aftercare necessary or not? Who’s responsible for giving it?
- Caring for Yourself After a Scene – Self Aftercare – Tips and suggestions for how to take care of yourself when you need more aftercare and are alone.
Bruises, Cuts and Burns – First Aid After Play
- Physical Aftercare and First Aid Quick Reference – A 5-page cheat sheet to keep in your toy bag and dungeon area with first aid and care for common physical ailments that occur during play. Found on the ebooks page.
- First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and After Play Marks – a basic guide on how to treat cuts, scrapes, burns, and bruises that result from BDSM play.
- Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises – how do you handle a Dr’s visit if you have marks or need further care after an intense play session?
- Ask lunaKM – Reducing the Appearance of Marks After Play – my response to a reader’s question about minimizing visible bruising.
Sub Drop and Emotional Release from Scenes
- Some of the Best Kept Secrets of Sub Drop Recovery – a toolkit of the symptoms of sub drop, what it means and how to manage it with a drop kit and more.
- The Emotional Side of Sub Drop – Methods to deal with the deep sadness, guilt, fear, and shame that may come up during sub drop.
- Ask lunaKM – Negative Feelings for Dominant After Sub Drop Ends – I give some advice for someone who’s feeling less than appreciative.
- Ask SehAnru – Sub Drop and Mental Illness Concerns – SehAnru helps a reader with bi-polar understand that everyone drops differently.
- Kink and Mental Health – Can “Sub Drop” Be a Trigger – Rayne talks about triggers and sub drop in this fantastic installment to her Kink and Mental Health Series.
Dominant Recovery
- How To Help Your Dominant Recover from Play – ways you can help your Dominant recover from play even while you are coming down.
- What to Do When Your Dominant Drops – I address the ins and outs of Dom drop in this video post.
- When Top Drop Rules Your Relationship – a guest post by Christian talks about the emotional toll that comes with a Dominant that drops hard and carries guilt about play.


