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Content related to "How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together"

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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5 Types of Power Exchange Relationships

We can however, put every relationship into 5 different relationship types. I'm sure there are more, but for the purpose of this essay, I will be covering the 5 types that I can see in this life. This is not the only way to look at and describe relationships, but it is a good beginning. I am not a relationship expert and what I am writing about is my own observations. If you feel that another definition fits your idea of each relationship type, then by all means, please use your own.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Dolly Learns To Balance Kink and Everyday Life

However committed and passionate you may be about your Dom/sub relationship, making time for your kink among the cold, harsh realities of daily living is a continuous and often difficult balance.

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Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play

When the intensity of activities go up it's not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the ability to communicate clearly. So, something developed to help us is safewords.

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A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor

I made the following printable chart which you can fill out and send to potential mentoring candidates to ensure clarity on both ends.

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Getting My Home Together - A Cleaning and Organizing Purge

It is so easy to become overwhelmed and let the “little things” slide. Don’t let your home get to that point, and if you do, blitz it, call over friends, get it clean and give yourself a hard deadline.

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Submissive on Your Own Terms: Analyzing The One True Way

There are those who believe that there is only one way to be submissive. Mistress Steel challenges those thoughts with critical thinking, to open up the idea that submission is personal and varied.

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