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Article

The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Article

Emotional Moderation in Submission: Choose Your Emotions Wisely

As submissives, we are expected to express a modicum of restraint, most often in regards to our words and actions. Frequently, we do this to align ourselves with the expectations of the dominants who care for us. I propose that while it is admirable to used restraint and moderation in our words and actions, it is even more important to exercise moderation in our thoughts and feelings.

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Series

Munches

If you’re new, you may have never heard of munches. They are basically gatherings of kinky folk that get together to share food and friendship in a casual atmosphere. But how do you find one? What are they like? Will you be stared at? Let’s answer the questions and dispel the worry and encourage you to head out into the world to your local BDSM community.

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Article

Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Article

The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Submissive Frenzy

During submissive frenzy, you may feel a desperate need to have your desires fulfilled. Many of the activities in BDSM can be considered addictive and frenzy is much like a withdrawal stage. This series will help you understand your urgent feelings and how to listen to your gut when you need it most.

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What A Submissive Should Bring to Play Sessions

With the wide range or play activities and tools needed for them, you can be sure that you will have at least one full bag of items. Yes submissives, you need to have your own play bag also. I can hear it now though. Dominants use the toys, why do I need to have some? Well here's the scoop. A lot of the toys used on us are not easy or impossible to clean from person to person. These toys should be one person only. In those cases, you definitely should respect your Dominant by bringing your own.

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How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play?

I work in a very conservative environment, so we try to keep marks to places that can easily be covered. That doesn’t always work and it limits our play field greatly in the warmer months because I live in a hellishly humid place in summer. Any suggestions?

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The Thrill of Knife Play

Knife play runs the edge of what could be construed as safe because, well, knives. The most important thing to know about knife play is that while it is a powerfully sexy tool, it is best used in the hands of an experienced person with an experienced couple.

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