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Content related to "Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship?"

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The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse

Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have my answer. That seems good enough for me.

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Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape in BDSM Scenarios

"Consensual rape." Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary to that initial concept of rape. A consensual act is one in which all parties are in agreement as to the parameters, activities, and boundaries of said act. How then, does the term "consensual rape" have any validity at all?

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Acceptance of My Feminist Submissive Identity

I have spent much time pondering the seemingly conflicting views of feminism and submission. In the first part of my article, I would like to discuss feminism and how it fits in with my view of both the BDSM community and submission. In the second part, I will explore how I practice feminism in my personal life.

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Video Review: Kink for Beginners

You are able to see kink done by real life people and the viewer can see the real connection and love between a full-time mistress/slave relationship.

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A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor

I made the following printable chart which you can fill out and send to potential mentoring candidates to ensure clarity on both ends.

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Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse

If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives?

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An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

When people ask me what a D/s relationship is like, my first thought is that it is 'like any other relationship,' but that's not entirely accurate. Let me tell you what the common misconceptions are and then we can talk about the reality of a D/s relationship. You may be surprised to learn that they aren't as foreign as you think.

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