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What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You - Get The Facts

Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into safewords; from their use, the safety implied and some of the problems safewords cause.

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Domestic Violence Awareness in BDSM Relationships - Assualt is NOT okay

I just started exploring my kinky side and I've only shared it with a few other people. One person that found out started talking really crudely to me and cornering me at parties to whisper horrible naughty things in my ear. One night he forced his way into my apartment, violated me and beat me with his belt until I blacked out. I don't know how to handle this because I've admitted I'm kinky, does this mean people will treat me like this?

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D/s Dating

Dating is dating. It’s not easy and how we approach it affects the outcome. Once you adjust your thinking to how we go about dating and the changes in life that the Lifestyle brings upon us you will see that finding a partner is never easy.

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Entering Subspace Do's and Don'ts

Subspace. It doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn't do when subspace is imminent.

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Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time

When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes hold the best thing is to stop and treat the problem.

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False Submission: Insta-Subs Online

Whether it be by using a title "Sir" for them without asking, are abeyant to them by agreeing to everything they say and otherwise going above and beyond common respect. It's like they are sucking up to every Dominant to attract attention. I call this insta-sub.

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First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks

Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. But not everyone is like that. First Aid is important in the immediate aftercare of play.

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First Meetings Done Safely

You may not think that safety is necessary for someone you've been talking to for x number of hours, days, months, years but the person you meet could be very different than what is portrayed and you may not be compatible. How do you get out of the meeting safely and how do you protect yourself?

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Article

For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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Article

Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises

It's happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven't faded yet. Your Doctor's appointment is this afternoon, what do you do?

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Article

Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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