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I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.
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I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.
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Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.
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Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?
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When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?
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Series
So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.
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So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.
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I came up with two weeks of posts on the subject of different positions, how to develop your own positions and what other resources are out there as far a positions are concerned.
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I came up with two weeks of posts on the subject of different positions, how to develop your own positions and what other resources are out there as far a positions are concerned.
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If you can't get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a website focused on kink education. I have nothing but praise for Kink Academy and the quality educators and topics that they cover on Kink Academy.
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If you can't get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a website focused on kink education. I have nothing but praise for Kink Academy and the quality educators and topics that they cover on Kink Academy.
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You can't make someone be a Dominant. You can, however, awaken latent dominance or kink that they may have in their fantasies.
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You can't make someone be a Dominant. You can, however, awaken latent dominance or kink that they may have in their fantasies.
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Do you feel like a parrot when your Dominant asks you to respond in a specific way after a request is given? Learn how to discuss this issue with your partner and work to come to an agreement.
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Do you feel like a parrot when your Dominant asks you to respond in a specific way after a request is given? Learn how to discuss this issue with your partner and work to come to an agreement.
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So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don't think I'd listen to the results of one if it existed either. Submission isn't something you can find in a self-help book or a therapist. Submission is a calling.
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So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don't think I'd listen to the results of one if it existed either. Submission isn't something you can find in a self-help book or a therapist. Submission is a calling.
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