No matter what kind of relationship you are in or what kind of dynamic you have going on within that relationship, it is extremely important that you have your own sense of self and not get completely wrapped up in being a part of a couple. There is so much more to you than just being a s-type and being involved in a relationship.
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The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.
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When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.
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BDSM play can be risky, does bring about the potential for uncomfortable situations, raises physical limitations or triggers mental or emotional walls to come crashing down. In any of these instances, it would be very helpful to have a way to alert the dominant. Safewords are a verbal security blanket.
Read The Article | Find SimilarDuring submissive frenzy, you may feel a desperate need to have your desires fulfilled. Many of the activities in BDSM can be considered addictive and frenzy is much like a withdrawal stage. This series will help you understand your urgent feelings and how to listen to your gut when you need it most.
Read The Series | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarOne of the first warnings that novice submissives get amidst a group of submissives is to not be a doormat. But no one really goes into explaining what a doormat submissive is, other than the Dominant can walk all over them. How does this manifest?
Watch The Video | Find SimilarBeing a single submissive preparing for a relationship is just about as much work as those of us in relationships. Personal development should be your main focus. I have six very important tasks that should help you prepare for a happy future.
Read The Article | Find SimilarBeing submissive, we often forget that our needs are important and may even push them aside so that we can focus only on pleasing our Dominant partners.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWkslittleone's tale of her typical day in a life, a continued series on Submissive Guide where you too can share your day with others.
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