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Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.
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Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.
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Series
Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.
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Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.
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Series
Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Does being a submissive inherently mean you are feminine? This, of course, could work in a male Dominant/female submissive dynamic, but then again not always the case. What about relationships where the female is the Dominant? Do they suddenly become masculine?
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Does being a submissive inherently mean you are feminine? This, of course, could work in a male Dominant/female submissive dynamic, but then again not always the case. What about relationships where the female is the Dominant? Do they suddenly become masculine?
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Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.
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Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.
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A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, "You're a strong submissive with surrendering tendencies." She went on to say that it takes one exceptional Dominant to get me to that place. And she's right. I don't submit to just anyone that says they are Dominant.
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A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, "You're a strong submissive with surrendering tendencies." She went on to say that it takes one exceptional Dominant to get me to that place. And she's right. I don't submit to just anyone that says they are Dominant.
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I know that being a feminist means different things to different people. To me, feminism has always been about having the right to choose to lead the kind of life that I want to.
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I know that being a feminist means different things to different people. To me, feminism has always been about having the right to choose to lead the kind of life that I want to.
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Many male subs portray themselves through their own words that they are selfish in that they do not actually care what a potential dominant partner wants or needs.
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Many male subs portray themselves through their own words that they are selfish in that they do not actually care what a potential dominant partner wants or needs.
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Let's figure out how we can break down our own walls of fear, embarrassment, shyness and poor body confidence to become their favorite source of this material.
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Let's figure out how we can break down our own walls of fear, embarrassment, shyness and poor body confidence to become their favorite source of this material.
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Ambrosio brings us a series of posts on Leather protocol and etiquette. In this introductory post, we touch on the very basics of manners and appropriate behavior in BDSM situations.
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Ambrosio brings us a series of posts on Leather protocol and etiquette. In this introductory post, we touch on the very basics of manners and appropriate behavior in BDSM situations.
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