This is a guest post by Slave Kelly.
Paralysis of analysis became a well-known phrase when used by Martin Luther King, Jr., during the Civil Rights Movement. However, this human phenomenon has been documented for centuries.
Paralysis of analysis occurs when one over-thinks an issue, or situation, to the point where the ability to act ceases. You become paralyzed in thought. Sometimes, that thought becomes so big and overwhelming, it can cause an interruption in daily living.
I tend to over-analyze slavery. For instance:
Me: I’m a lot of trouble.
Him: That’s for me to worry about.
Me: I don’t have to worry about how much trouble I am?
Him: No. I will take care of you. If you ever become too much trouble, you will not be loved less, you will be whipped.
Me: I’m not sure I can make you happy.
Him: You make me very happy.
Me: But I want to be better at it.
Him: Stop trying to control. You do not control your submission. I guide it. You are not in charge of how good or how bad you are. That is for me to worry about.
Me: Humph. Why am I worrying about all of this if I don’t have to?
Him: Because you over-analyze.
In my experience, submission is often over-analyzed by the submissive. It’s almost like a built-in tendency due to the forces-at-will (fears, anxieties, societal pressures, self-oppressions, stigma, etc.). When I become stuck in analysis, Master is there to ‘unstick’ me - nudge me (or in some cases, pull me) forward.
Master understands my need to be an ethical slave. A slave living up to her personal moral codes. He helps me with my self-work and discovery. Gives me the room and freedom to express myself – even if I sound depressed, anxious, strangled in fears, manic – or whatever.
Yes, submission can be depressive, scary, and riddled with highs and lows. Sometimes it feels like post-partum and menopause hitting me at the same time. Things can get cray-cray in a millisecond. I wasn’t born a submissive. I am learning how to be one. I willingly experience cray-cray because submission is important to me. It fulfills me in ways I cannot otherwise be fulfilled.
Reflection is good.
Awareness is healthy.
Authenticity to the self, a must.
Personal work is essential.
The best slave is an empowered, aware, and educated one. The more we can empower ourselves as individuals, the more we have to offer a D/s or M/s relationship.
Slave Kelly,a third-wave feminist, sex-positive, and body-positive slave, is a doctoral student, a registered marriage and family therapist intern, and instructor at a private medical university. In addition to her doctoral degree, she is pursuing additional credentials to become a licensed sex therapist.