Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarA common tool for Dominants in their punishment arsenal is removal. You can be removed from the activity and sent to a time out area. For me, that's the kitchen. Ugh. I hate when I'm banished there.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEvery submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.
Read The Article | Find SimilarOnce you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or does s/he make you feel that you are constantly failing his/her orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSo how would they know when the humiliation is damaging you? Is it possible to use humiliation as a punishment without damaging a sub's self-esteem or is it best reserved strictly for play alone & nothing more?
Read The Article | Find SimilarAccepting that my behavior is a direct reflection on Him, that my thoughts and actions need first to be scrutinized, on my own, for what I know He expects of me. I will fail again, I'm sure. And I will be back in that place.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEvery time he punishes me (even if I take it like the good pet I am) he’ll start crying midway through no matter how angry he was. I don’t know what to do?!
Read The Article | Find SimilarYelling at them may seem like the thing to do, but with the right tools and a dash of inner strength, you can learn how to express yourself without blowing your top.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMy opinion on whether safewords should be allowed during punishment (for misbehavior).
Read The Article | Find SimilarIt's not just about the lesson that the Dominant is trying to teach you, but for yourself; how to repair faith in yourself and your chosen submission, how to lift the guilt and how to humbly move on in apology, progress, and recovery.
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