My first question for March Question Month is about making the mental switch from work to home life. I know from experience that this is a very difficult time for both the Dominant and the submissive. You could have had an intense day at work, or the submissive is in a position of power at work and needs to be brought down once home. So many things can get in the way of wanting to be in the right head space when you walk in the door and it can break down the dynamic, cause stress and dilute the mindset for everyone involved. There are some simple steps to help you find your mental place before and shortly after you walk in the door.
Before you get home, think about how you would like to be, what would make your partner happy and just use the drive as a time to refocus. This could be challenging depending on your commute, but music might be a help. Use soothing, relaxing music and allow yourself to think of how you would like to act when you get home.
Leave work at work if at all possible. I know that many of us take work home to do while at home, but avoid it wherever possible. Doing work at home keeps you from shifting gears and becoming your home person and not the working person. This is in opposition to what you want to. If you think of something you need to do tomorrow at work, like call Mrs. Simon about her appointment, call and leave a message on your voice mail or send yourself an email. Then it's out of your mind and you won't forget it tomorrow because you have just reminded your work-self tomorrow.
Change your clothing as soon as you get home. This is the final layer of a physical reminder that you were just at work. Put on whatever you wear at home, or dress in something that would be appealing to your partner. This can help your mind shut off work and turn on your role. Remarkably this can help your kids too if they are made to change clothes when they get home. They get stressed at school too and deserve the shift in mindset also.
Take a shower if you can. This has two purposes; it can strip away the 'smell' of the office and it can work to reset your mind on what you should be doing at home. It's pure alone time and you can really concentrate on what's important.
Have an entering the house ritual. This can vary depending on if you have kids or other obligations but can include helping your partner off with their coat, taking their briefcase or lunch box, kissing them hello, kneeling obediently in the entry way, a formal greeting of some sort or even changing to an at home collar if you have one.
Lastly, take some time out for yourself to reconnect. Meditate, reread your rules for your position or sit and talk to each other away from other noises. Just 5 minutes to reconnect could make a world of difference.
Try to work your life around your dynamic, too many changes and you could come up against a brick wall more often than you care to admit. Everyone has times when they can't let go of work or when stress is insurmountable. Take it one step at a time and allow your partner to help you shift and relax.
Coming home from work doesn't have to be a hard change to submissive mindset and once you get a routine in place it should be a pretty easy shift. Practice at it and you will do well.