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Content related to "A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Reviewing and Updating your Checklist"

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Communicating While Submissive

Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear.

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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

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The 6 Most Common STDs

Everytime we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it's important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to have multiple partners, or if you are changing partners. Maintaining a clean bill of sexual health will provide yourself and your partner(s) with reassurance and safety. Even though you may be disease free does not mean you shouldn't practice safe sex. If you need a refresher, check the previous post on safer kinky sex practices.

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Massage as Ritual

It can be a hand rub, a back rub or a full body massage. The ritual part is that it's done regularly and with reverence to the act. It becomes a special moment in time for you and your partner. You get to absorb yourself in your service and they get to receive a relaxing massage.

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A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Goal Setting in a D/s or M/s Dynamic

Given that submissives and slaves have their feet to the fire when it comes to following through, it’s important to carefully consider potential resolutions and goals.

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Road Trip: Taking your D/s Relationship to Fantastic Las Vegas!

While I think you can probably have a wonderfully kinky vacation just about anywhere, Las Vegas has some very important benefits.

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A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor

I made the following printable chart which you can fill out and send to potential mentoring candidates to ensure clarity on both ends.

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