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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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BDSM Mastery: Your Guide to Play, Parties and Scene Protocols

This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all about.

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What A Single Submissive Packs in Their Toybag

If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes having some of your own toys so that you don't rely on Dominants being gracious enough to use their toys on you.

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups

One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a computer screen but to really taste things as they are, they need to get out and experience it.

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What is Primal Play?

A primal play scene may look like wrestling or even martial arts. There may be pressure points involved and even rope bondage, but the thing that sets primal play apart from other types is raw, emotional, sexual feelings displayed.

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Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)

What is SSC? It's a credo that people in the BDSM community use to express the safety tenets of play.

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RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra

Understanding the differences of RACK and SSC can help you decide if your preference for activities is more for one mantra or another.

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Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 2 of 7) - More Specific Guidelines

In this part of Ambrosio's series on Leather protocol and etiquette; appropriate behavior at munches and other gatherings where socializing happens as well as how to handle trolls and other inappropriate behavior.

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