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Content related to "Define This: What is “Vanilla”?"

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The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

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A Complete Guide to BDSM Collars

A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually gaurded and protected with their heart. With all the essays online about collars I thought I’d jump in with my own take on what everyone says and believes about collars.

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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Preparing Your Body for Service: Your Bathing Routine

You may have been bathing yourself since you were 5 or 6, but if you haven't changed your bathing routine since then, you may want to consider growing up and learning an adult way to bathe. Each person may have cleaning preferences and this is to be just a guideline and recommendation for bathing and grooming. Preparing your body for your dominant partner is a basic requirement that will amaze and delight them, besides a clean body makes you feel good too.

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What Happens At Your First Munch?

So you are ready to venture into the great wide expanse of public life and meet people face to face. That's great! A munch is a safe and fun environment to do that in. A munch is a meet and greet of kinky folks in a public to semi-private space where you can get to know people, talk and ask questions and just enjoy feeling good about who you are without having to hide anything.

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Can You Separate BDSM and Sex?

But can you really separate the sex from BDSM? You have to admit that much of what we do during play time is rooted in sexual pleasure and sensation. Even if you are never touched sexually you can achieve orgasm. Does this make it sex or BDSM?

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Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky

There's nothing wrong with liking a little variation in your sex life. Embrace your brand of kinky.

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Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

Your partner has reacted to the revelation of your BDSM desires in a positive way or at least is willing to participate. Congratulations! This is a huge first step.

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Enhancing the Dominant or Submissive Traits in Your Vanilla Partner

Mistress Steel tackles the the topic of introducing your partner to BDSM and D/s. She provides some simple suggestions to get you started with the conversation and some subtle hints you can use today to share your kink with your spouse.

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