There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.
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The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.
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A common mistake that many submissives make is to assume that giving up control also means giving up the responsibility to themselves and to the situation. A submissive shares equal responsibility for any consequences - good or bad - that occur as a result of consensual play or activities.
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Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?
Read The Article | Find SimilarSubmissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).
Read The Series | Find SimilarThere are three pain processing methods we are going to talk about today. They are acceptance, denial and devouring. Two of these methods are very common, and the third while being rare happens to be where pure masochists place themselves.
Read The Article | Find SimilarYou never know what may go on, how you will react or where your limits are that day. Using that safeword will protect yourself. But for many of us, wielding that power is scary and one that you don't consider unless it is absolutely necessary. When we do break and need to safeword out of a scene we can be fraught with guilt and feelings of failure.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhat I learned from my own efforts in transitioning and hopefully they will help you too if you choose to move your submission from the bedroom to more or from more to total surrender in a Master/slave relationship.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMost often we associate this term with the time frame immediately following a 'scene'. However, this term is equally applicable at many other points and times and many times is not associated with BDSM or D/s at all.
Read The Article | Find SimilarKnife play runs the edge of what could be construed as safe because, well, knives. The most important thing to know about knife play is that while it is a powerfully sexy tool, it is best used in the hands of an experienced person with an experienced couple.
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