As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into safewords; from their use, the safety implied and some of the problems safewords cause.
Read The Article | Find SimilarLimits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.
Read The Series | Find SimilarSadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or another so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Now, no matter what processing method you use, there are ways you can learn to process pain differently to enjoy pain play more fully, allow you to take more pain and to push your pain edge further.
Read The Series | Find SimilarCaring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. But not everyone is like that. First Aid is important in the immediate aftercare of play.
Read The Article | Find SimilarTransparency is a huge factor in an M/s or D/s relationship. We both know that the moment there’s no longer 100% transparency in our relationship, then something is seriously wrong.
Read The Article | Find SimilarLet me describe to you what a first scene might be like.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSo many submissives that have safewords feel that if they use it they have let their partner down and feel disappointed in themselves, but that's just not true.
Read The Article | Find SimilarAs the day progressed, I felt sadder. I had trouble focusing on what I needed to do and confusion because we just shared some really great time together - what did I have to be sad about?
Read The Article | Find SimilarOnce you start perfecting the art of giving up control of your orgasm to another person, you can start exploring it in other ways. Forced orgasm is not forcing it upon somebody unwilling (consent always of course!) but instead creating a situation where the bottom is orgasming in a way that is surprising, unconventional, or even in a way that makes them uncomfortable.
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