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Disabled? Ideas on How You Can Still Enjoy BDSM When Impaired

There are many Dominants and submissives with varying degrees of disability or other physical problems that, to some extent, leave them handicapped. It is quite possible to scene from both sides despite such impairments. However, some key things should be addressed.

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The Time Between Knots: Changing Our Perspectives on Rope Bondage

After a few months of "bonding" over rope bondage, though, I'm pretty convinced it's a whole different animal. Perhaps there is something to be gained from regarding it as such.

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Dirty Talk

When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?

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Your Kink is Not My Kink and That's Okay

Just because your kinks are things I'm not remotely interested in doesn't mean we can't stand on common ground. It's okay to be different and yet be friends. People do it all the time.

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Making Assumptions: Try to Learn Everything and Make Sure Your Partner Knows Too

What's dangerous is that more and more information that is shared has a larger element of assumed knowledge; the information you need to know before you pick up the new information. I'm not perfect either.

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A Day in the Life: DarlingDoll

This is part of the A Day in the Life Series. Thanks DarlingDoll!

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Perspectives: Rope Bondage

Playing with rope is one of the first things that I was exposed to when I discovered kink. To me it was safe and tame and something that didn’t scream kinky freak to me. Besides that I didn’t know what I was doing, the person that I chose to introduce me to a bit of rope did and it was a fantastic first experience all around.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Spanking? Try Flogging

Spanking is another starting point for many people entering the BDSM arena because it is so simple (seeming) and if using your hand pretty difficult to spank your way to injury. Flogging is one of the most standard of BDSM impact tools and a great next step for those looking to take things to the next level.

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